The Pinocchio Syndrome:
Breathing life into "wooden" characters

As a writer, have you ever been told your characters are two-dimensional or "wooden?" Some might call this problem the Pinocchio Syndrome – having wooden, puppet-like characters no reader can identify with. Whether a story is plot-driven or character-driven, ideally your characters should engage the reader, gain empathy and at the same time move the plot forward. In learning to further develop a character’s personality, ironically, one of the best examples is found in Carlo Collodi's tale of Pinocchio.

In this famous (and rather dark) children’s story, the marionette Pinocchio begins his life as a pine log. A log is probably the most basic of characters and yet Collodi gives Pinocchio a personality even before the character is truly "born." First, the reader is introduced to a magical log that sings and talks, and when the log is passed on to Geppetto, it takes on a more human-like form when it’s carved into a doll. As Geppetto works, the log cries out in pain, immediately eliciting empathy from readers. In his new form, Pinocchio begins to evolve, gaining all the attributes of a human boy.

To make a character more lifelike, even if it’s just a log like Pinocchio started out, you must give them a personality. Personality traits, as used in fiction, are any aspect of a character described in terms of how they think, act and in their general demeanor. For example, you can say your character is a scullery maid, but that isn’t necessarily a personality trait. Being a scullery maid is what the character "does" and though a person’s job can say a lot about them, this is a character detail, not a personality trait. You can have two scullery maids with completely different personalities.

The same thing applies with physical traits. You can say a character is a blonde girl in a pink mini-dress, but aside from the usual cliched stereotypes, what does this description really tell a reader about a character? Hair color and clothing is not quite enough to define personality. You have to go a little further than that.

A personality trait could be any of the following that describes a person: Shy, fastidious, youth-obsessed, gregarious, rude, stupid, intelligent, cowardly and just about any adjective you can think of. These traits, when combined with other physical traits, unique mannerisms and voice, et ceters all come together to create a mental image of your character. The trick is in how to show these traits to readers without overwhelming them with details. Some writers use a lengthy list called a Character Sketch to ask themselves questions about a given character. All you really need to know is the basics of the character’s personality to start with and then you build upon the sketch as events happen within your story.

Once you’ve sketched out a list of personality traits for your character, the next step is to give him or her a physical description, employment, habits and so on. Then you give them a "past," a present and a possible future (backstory). Again, try to avoid stereotypes. A blonde girl wearing a pink mini-dress is more fascinating to the reader if she’s extremely intelligent but has an inner fear of looking like a nerd. Keep your list handy as you write, because you will need to refer to it often as your story or novel chapters develop. Much as Collodi did with Pinocchio, get your character up and moving, then add bits and pieces of who they are and what they might become as you write the story itself. Disburse this information in small doses – only where it’s needed. There's a saying: "Actions speak louder than words." This is especially true when it comes to building characters.

Introduce your characters much as you’d introduce yourself to another person in real life. When you first meet someone, you automatically begin forming an opinion of this new person through a series of impressions you’ve gathered as you speak to them, observe their mannerisms and their behavior. Let the same thing happen for your characters. These things should flow naturally and chronologically into the story, developing along with the plot itself.As an example, let’s start with a basic wooden character named "Joe Smith." In an introductory paragraph, we'll leave out his surname. Contrary to popular belief among new writers, surnames do not need to be given out right away unless they’re needed to explain something in the story. In all reality, what information does a surname provide about a character? Nothing much. except for their heritage – and it’s a vague reference at that. Here’s a basic sentence about "Joe:"

'Joe was an overweight gas station attendant who fell in love with a girl he knew he could never have.'

This sentence tells you that Joe is:
1. Overweight
2. He works at a gas station
3. He falls in love with an unattainable girl.

First impressions mean everything when introducing your characters. Just because you might be able to see your character in your mind’s eye, this doesn’t mean the reader can. So, you will need to add a few more details and expand upon the sentence above. A practiced writer does this by inference within the running narrative of the story, using internal dialogue and the character’s actions. What this means is that you can obliquely refer to a character's personality trait or physical traits using whatever’s available in a given scene. To show that a character is overweight, it’s easy enough to state that they’re chubby, but it’s better to show the character as they’re constantly adjusting tight clothing or having problems walking. So Joe is overweight and has a crush on a girl. Big deal. There are a million other guys out there just like him. What sets Joe apart from every other overweight male person in the world?

This is when you need to give your characters a voice, much as Collodi did with the pine log that became Pinocchio. A character’s voice is not just in how they speak within written dialogue, but also their inner thought process described in the narrative itself. Get creative. Add other facets to your character that affect their personality. Maybe they have an allergy, a phobia of birds or an ongoing illness. Show his/her mannerisms, tics, their way of speaking and their dress, and not just their dress but how their clothes fit and more. When it comes to extended details like clothing, it’s best to only describe an item or two, but make certain it says something about the character. Be creative with physical appearance, as well. In your description, be sure to "show" the character, don’t just "tell" the reader a fact or two about them. If your character is a brunette, for instance, don’t just say, "Clarice had long brown hair. Dirk thought it looked pretty in the sunlight." Instead, show Clarice’s hair in a way that’s unique to her, evokes emotion and moves the plot forward:

‘Clarice turned away and stared out at the ocean. Dirk noticed how her mouse-colored hair, when caressed by the sun, turned to a lustrous caramel.’

Much more information can be implied by being creative with a few choice adjectives and verbs. Let’s try to put a little more flesh on our puppet, Joe, with more elaboration added to the original sentence from earlier:

‘Joe worked at the Gas ‘n Go. His coworkers were always teasing him about his weight and he hated it. When he arrived at work one morning, unbeknownst to Joe, his zipper split open as he strained to get out of his car. On his way to clock in, his boss, Sam, caught a glimpse of Joe’s private parts and commented that Joe’s "car was exiting the garage." Because his belly was so big, Joe couldn't see his zipper, but nevertheless he was instantly embarrassed. This unfortunate event happened right in front of the pretty girl who worked behind the snack counter. Joe blushed and covered his open zipper with his hands. He then hurried to the restroom to fix it.’

In the above paragraph there is now a lot more information about Joe. It still doesn't quite convey enough about him as a person, but a reader can get a vague idea who Joe is and what he looks like. However, they still don’t really get a picture of Joe in mind. As you can probably tell in the above paragraph, there still isn’t quite enough about Joe to gain reader empathy.

There are two primary reasons for this lack of empathy for poor Joe. The first reason is that the details, though seemingly plentiful, are not introduced to the reader correctly. They are "told," not "shown." The second reason is that no firm point of view (POV) has been established. The paragraph above is loosely omniscient in POV. Omniscient POV has been used effectively by authors for many, many years, but readers these days tend to identify more with a firm Third Person or First Person point of view. Readers like to get to know a character and this means delving further into that characters’ thought process.

To make it easier for the reader to mentally connect with a character, ask the following questions when considering how to present them:
1. How does your character think and speak (internally and externally)?
2. What is the character’s usual demeanor? (Grumpy, sad, happy-go-lucky, etc.)
3. What do the other characters think of your main character? How do they generally react to him/her?
4. What does he/she look like? How does they see themselves?
5. What does he/she "do" in life and better yet, Why? (Jobs, hobbies, etc.)

Answering these questions will help you visualize your character as a person, especially when it comes to illustrating their good points and their flaws. Flaws are very important to making a character seem more human.

One of the reasons why Carlo Collodi’s marionette is a good example of a multifaceted character is due to Pinocchio’s flaws. Like people in real life, all characters must have flaws of some kind. Like real people, they will make mistakes and then pay for them, creating even more obstacles they must overcome. Everyone knows Pinocchio's most dominant flaw: his wooden nose grows longer every time he tells a lie. This a physical flaw the character is aware of. There are also other more prominent traits Pinocchio has that he is not aware of or is in denial about. These are shown through the character’s actions and in dialogue. Pinocchio’s personality is shown as impudent, foolish and prone to bad temper – all traits that make him every bit an ornery and all-too-human boy. Pinocchio, in making foolish decisions and having negative things happen to him, manages to learn about his flaws and overcome them along with other obstacles as the story progresses.

Bear in mind, you can’t address all of your character’s traits in one introductory paragraph, but you can hint at them here and there by using the character’s voice and thought process. Below is a further enhanced and expanded version of the basic paragraph above, using our puppet Joe, now shown with an inner voice and perceptions added along with several character traits and flaws thrown in. In this set of introductory paragraphs, you should now get a much better view of Joe:

‘Joe stood outside the Gas ‘n Go, wolfing down the last bits of three chili dogs he’d picked up on the way to work. He hesitated in front of the window. The new cashier, a wisp of a woman named Loretta, stood behind the counter. She was talking with Sam, the shop boss. Sam favored Loretta with his overly white smile and reached out to playfully chuck her under the chin. She recoiled and took a quick step backward, causing a strand of pale hair to come loose from beneath her cap. Joe finger-combed what few strands of hair remained on his balding pate and pushed in through the double doors. There was a small chance he could tiptoe by and get to the time-clock before the other two caught sight of him.

When he was about halfway across the store, his boss turned and stopped Joe with an upraised hand. "Hold on there, Porky. You’re late again." Sam then burst into laughter and pointed at Joe’s pants "Well lookee here! Your Volkswagen’s rolledout of the garage."

Joe peered downward and saw nothing but belly. However, there was definitely a breeze blowing in where it shouldn’t be. His zipper was wide open. He groaned inwardly. Yes, he’d been in a hurry to get to work, but how could he have forgotten to put on his briefs? Then it occurred to him that if Sam could see Joe’s privates, Loretta could, too. Every drop of blood in Joe’s body rushed up into his face. To her credit, Loretta looked away, as if she developed a sudden interest in the cigarette display behind her. Joe clapped both of his hands over the front of his pants, stifled a sob and hurried off to the men’s restroom. He wasn't about to let Loretta see him cry. She'd seen more than enough already.’

After reading about Joe the gas station attendant, above, you should now be able to picture what Joe looks like, how he thinks, what he does, how he might react in a given situation and more. In addition to his most prominent trait (his weight issues) you now know Joe is:

1. Balding
2. Chronically late and forgetful
3. So used to criticism that he doesn’t react to being called "Porky"
4. Bashful/shy, maybe even a little creepy
5. Attracted to the new cashier, Loretta.

Well-rounded characters have plenty of good and bad things about them. The key is to touch on these aspects as the story progresses. When you begin describing a character’s back-story (their personal history, as it affects the story as a whole), write it in relation to the plot itself.

For example, if Joe was humiliated in kindergarten because he was caught eating other kids’ lunches, this would be a useful fact about his character. However, you would have to insert this fact into the story at the right time, as it naturally fits into the plot. An example would be writing a scene where Joe goes to pick his nephew up from school and overhears other kids making snotty remarks about his nephew’s weight. This could trigger a flashback memory of the same thing happening to Joe himself many years before. Remember, when revealing details about a character, let them flow in as part of the story. Putting in details that add nothing of value to the plot is just "fluff" and only serves to bog down the reader.

The best way to introduce your characters to the reader by placing them in uncomfortable situations that immediately reveal their most prominent personality traits. Above, Joe is made very uncomfortable and as a reader you can judge him by how he handles the situation. Whether the initial impression is good or bad doesn't matter, it's the potential for fundamental change that interests a reader. Joe may be a cowardly, unattractive and creepy man, but if he’s shown to have emotions and goals, he has the potential to become something better.

Even secondary characters have wants, needs and goals, just make sure they tie in with the main plot and do not steal the stage from your main characters. If you're introducing secondary or even tertiary characters into a story, they should make an impression on the reader, but with fewer details. The less important the character, the less back-story they should need. Remember that every character, no matter how minor, must have a specific part to play in moving the plot forward. Introducing characters for setting value (part of the scenery) may be confusing if you tell us about their marital lives and what kind of latte they usually buy from the local coffee house. When it comes to secondary and tertiary characters, a good rule to remember is this:
if you're not going to use them, lose them.

Lastly, try to keep your characters balanced. If your protagonist is a genuinely good person, let him or her have a few bad qualities, too. If your antagonist is really bad, throw in a few good qualities for balance. A character that is overly good or bad will come off as unrealistic. Even if there is no fundamental change for the character in your story, the potential for it must remain in play. When a character has opportunities for change, this appeals to readers because it reinforces the unconscious hope all people have that their lives can transform, too. Adding just the right amount of detail to humanize your characters will make your story memorable – like Collodi’s Pinocchio, the ultimate "wooden" character.

- Until later, whenever that will be,

Jill