Finally Getting Over Writer's Block
I guess I can count being booted from my favorite writing group as a blessing in disguise. I've finally been able to think of things to write about once again. After months and months of writing stories that were pure crap, I think I've finally got some decent ideas cooking.
I came up with a new idea for a short story last night. I won't mention it here, even though I doubt anyone actually reads these things, and if anyone does, they won't really care. But the good news is that the rusty wheels of my imagination have broken loose and are turning. Before long, my train of thought will be heading down the tracks at full steam.
I swear, I've tried everything known to man about how to get rid of writer's block, and as it turned out, the group that I loved being part of was what killed my urge to write. It can be put down to several things - I could never, ever write anything they liked, and when I finally started getting 'close,' I found that I was writing stuff that I didn't like. There comes a point when writing groups and criticism just aren't doing you any good, and are hindering rather than helping. I've ditched all the writing groups except for one, and I'm debating as to whether or not to keep it. It's turned into more of a mutual admiration society than a true crit group. I find that I'm forced to say 'I liked this, but..." in order not to piss anyone off at me. I'd much rather be blunt and say, "Sorry, but this sucks, and here's why..."
I began a story last night, but before I could really get into it, I was called away from my computer and never did get back. In that same span of time, other ideas for that same story crept in, and now I'm thinking of a whole new angle. It has to do with dreams and alternate realities, but a completely new take on it that I'm pretty sure I've never seen before. If it's anything a writer hates, it's someone else grabbing their 'angle' and running with it before said writer gets a chance to get anything of their idea on paper. Hell, I'm even thinking of participating in NaNoWriMo.
NaNoWriMo, or 'National Novel Writer's Month,' is a time when the NaNo folks set about trying to write a 50K -word (or more) novel in 30 days or less, taking place in November. (Maybe because November has exactly 30 days). The emphasis is supposed to be on the writing itself, not the product. You're supposed to just write, and not worry about errors, lack of plot, etc. But I've always thought that blowing out a 50K hunk of crap is a big waste of time. Why write a novel that can't sell? But then, I'm thinking... what if I had an outline before I started? I might end up with a usable first draft. I've got tons of outlines that I've abandoned for one reason or another. Maybe it's time to dust one of them off and see what I can make of it. To write 50K words in 30 days, one must write 1,500 words a day, give or take a few. I know I can top that. I write 2,000 words a day while just banging out ideas in an outline or wasting time rambling on my blogs.
In the meantime, I should be writing more. I feel the urge to write again. It's not as strong as it used to be, but it's there and it's growing. Part of my problem now is lack of time. Days seem to be flying by at breakneck speed, and an entire week, month, year is gone before I know it. I'm working a full time job at the newspaper, but I'm also taking on some part-time insurance work to have extra money to invest for retirement. It's pretty much eating up all of my spare time. When I get home, I'm usually too damned tired to sit in front of a keyboard. I'm sitting in front of one now, and there are stories in mind itching to be told, but yet, I'm piddling around with blogs and message boards. I need to figure out how I can focus, somehow. Once I get that straightened out, I can begin to be productive again.
Well, that's it for now. Until Later,
Jillian
A chronicle of my adventures in the business of writing and publishing.
Monday, October 18, 2004
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Writer's Block from Hell...
I've been struggling off and on for months with writer's block. It's crippling to my creative side. I've even quit painting and taking photos, which are my usual outlet if the writing's no good. So, I'm left to wonder, what lies behind writer's block what is it and how can it be 'cured?'
Based on the fact that just about all of my creative outlets have been shut down, I'm wondering if it has to do with stress and the fact that I keep telling myself, "Okay, you've GOT to write something today. Write something, no matter how awful it is, just DO SOMETHING."
That insistent little voice is almost always there. The only time it isn't is when I'm about to fall asleep. Maybe I'm simply pushing myself too hard. It's like trying to squeeze water out of stone. It's not going to be forced out.
Some of the remedies I've read about for writer's block are the following:
- Take a long walk, get out of the house and enjoy nature
(tried that)
- Read a book, or read several books.
(tried that, too)
- Simply put the need to write out of mind for at least two weeks.
(tried that, and it only made it worse)
- Pull up some story prompts and just write whatever comes to mind, even if it's complete crap.
(tried that, and now I have at least 12 incomplete short stories that are complete crap)
- Write about something you've never tried before, or in a genre you've never tried before.
(tried that, too, but the end result was hideous)
- Edit some older stories and see if there's a fresh way to look at them.
(doing this currently)
I sat down the other day and listed all the things I thought might be causing me stress and rendering me incapable of concentration. The top three things I came up with weren't what I'd figured they'd be. At first, I figured it was just the pressure of my job, occasional fights with my husband over the fact that I spend so much time in front of the computer and the fact that I'm studying to get my securities license to sell mutual funds.
What came first to mind were these:
1. My online writing groups.
I had four of them, and last month I cut two of them loose. I kept the short story group and Critical_Writing. I'm free to talk about Critical_Writing now because the owner of that group discovered that I'd joined an alternate group, Critical_Writing_Annex, started by a bunch of members he'd booted the previous month. I'd only been in Annex for about 4 days when I left over differences in running the group with the site's owner. I went back to Critical_Writing and tried to forget that I'd ever joined Annex. Still, during that time, C_W's owner was cold and distant in respect to replies on crits and submissions I'd made, so I figured he already knew I'd been at Annex.
As time went on, I began to wonder why I even cared. The guy who owns the C_W site is a gifted writer and I'd learned a great deal from him over two years time, but no one ever knew what would set him off and cause him to eject people from the group list. A few days ago, one of the members (at least I think it was a member, but could have been a troll) from Annex posted two crits to C_W and I sent her an email telling her what she'd done. The next morning, I got up and went to work and checked my email to find that Mark had not only booted me from C_W, but had banned me from ever returning as well. I was shocked, but I admit that I sort of saw it coming. Just by my joining Annex, even for a short period of time, I KNEW he would see me as some kind of 'traitor.' That wasn't it at all. I just wanted one more writing group to circulate my stuff around in. But that's the way he sees things. I'm pretty sure Mark had another friend of his named Helen (or he might have done it himself) go into Annex under a different name and get the member list there and/or scrolled through the posts to see what people from his group were ther and what they might have said. He (or they) found maybe two or three posts from me and that was it. He booted me out. Of course, I was pretty brutal on the last critique I gave him. I'm sure that didn't help either.
In retrospect, I'm not too unhappy to see Critical_Writing go, and even though I had a couple of friends there that I'll miss, the group itself was undermining my creativity so badly that I literally couldn't write anything that wasn't geared to please them. It got to the point where I'd finally write something that I actually liked, and I'd submit it there for crtique, and they'd rip it to shreds and say it was boring. They hated anything that wasn't fantasy, sci-fi or horror. The only reason I stayed so long was Mark himself - he's a damned good writer even though he's somewhat afraid to find out just how good he is due to some inner fear of rejection. I wanted to emulate his style so badly, knowing that if he wouldn't seek publication, I could adopt his style and do it for my damned self. I'm used to rejection. Now, at least he's trying to publish stuff with some online magazines, and I suppose that's a start. I overlooked his volatile temperament for so long because I knew how creative-types can be. They are frequently explosive in temper, but the fruit of their minds is a glory to behold. I don't really hate him for booting me out. I always knew that if I ever left that group it would be because they kicked me out. No surprise there. Maybe now that C_W is behind me, I can now focus on writing what I want to write, rather than writing to please a clicque.
2. No place quiet to write.
I live in a tin can of a mobile home and I earn 35K annually. My husband makes even more than I do.We live in a city that boasts the most-inflated real estate values in the country. Milk is 4 bucks a gallon, nearly twice that of gasoline. It's so expensive to live here that even though we earn 70K a year, we're still scraping by from paycheck to paycheck. Hence, the trailer and its matchstick walls.There's four of us crammed into a small space and I have nowhere quiet to go so that I can clear my mind enough to focus on my writing.
That's why I'm studying to get my securities license, so that I can make enough money at a second job to get into a bigger place.
3. My health is going downhill due to job stress.
I'm tired every day and I have to force myself to get up and go to work. I have headaches almost all of the time now, and I have no energy. I know that part of it is my high blood pressure and sleep problems (I haven't had a solid night's sleep in months). And the other part of it is stress, which aggravates the first two things just mentioned. I literally can't afford to go to a doctor, but I'm going to have to do so and soon. The other night, my blood pressure was up so high that I was certain that I'd have a heart attack or stroke before the night was over. If I'm tired and hurting, there's no way I can write.
And there's TV. Sometimes I just vegetate in front of the tube and next thing I know, the day's gone by. There may be something even deeper than that. A fear of failure, maybe, or something else I can't even identify. Whatever it is, I can't seem to get around it.
Anyway, I'm working some of my older stuff now, and hoping that with the severe reduction in the number of critique groups my writing muse will one day return. I'm pretty sure it's not just simple writer's block. It's almost a death of my creative side. If it's not dead, it's at least severely atrophied. In time, maybe if I get into a larger house and with an office where I can have peace and quiet, and if my health can return to the point where I'm not tired all the time, I might be able to get something done. Until then, I guess I'm editing my brains out.
Write on,
Jillian
I've been struggling off and on for months with writer's block. It's crippling to my creative side. I've even quit painting and taking photos, which are my usual outlet if the writing's no good. So, I'm left to wonder, what lies behind writer's block what is it and how can it be 'cured?'
Based on the fact that just about all of my creative outlets have been shut down, I'm wondering if it has to do with stress and the fact that I keep telling myself, "Okay, you've GOT to write something today. Write something, no matter how awful it is, just DO SOMETHING."
That insistent little voice is almost always there. The only time it isn't is when I'm about to fall asleep. Maybe I'm simply pushing myself too hard. It's like trying to squeeze water out of stone. It's not going to be forced out.
Some of the remedies I've read about for writer's block are the following:
- Take a long walk, get out of the house and enjoy nature
(tried that)
- Read a book, or read several books.
(tried that, too)
- Simply put the need to write out of mind for at least two weeks.
(tried that, and it only made it worse)
- Pull up some story prompts and just write whatever comes to mind, even if it's complete crap.
(tried that, and now I have at least 12 incomplete short stories that are complete crap)
- Write about something you've never tried before, or in a genre you've never tried before.
(tried that, too, but the end result was hideous)
- Edit some older stories and see if there's a fresh way to look at them.
(doing this currently)
I sat down the other day and listed all the things I thought might be causing me stress and rendering me incapable of concentration. The top three things I came up with weren't what I'd figured they'd be. At first, I figured it was just the pressure of my job, occasional fights with my husband over the fact that I spend so much time in front of the computer and the fact that I'm studying to get my securities license to sell mutual funds.
What came first to mind were these:
1. My online writing groups.
I had four of them, and last month I cut two of them loose. I kept the short story group and Critical_Writing. I'm free to talk about Critical_Writing now because the owner of that group discovered that I'd joined an alternate group, Critical_Writing_Annex, started by a bunch of members he'd booted the previous month. I'd only been in Annex for about 4 days when I left over differences in running the group with the site's owner. I went back to Critical_Writing and tried to forget that I'd ever joined Annex. Still, during that time, C_W's owner was cold and distant in respect to replies on crits and submissions I'd made, so I figured he already knew I'd been at Annex.
As time went on, I began to wonder why I even cared. The guy who owns the C_W site is a gifted writer and I'd learned a great deal from him over two years time, but no one ever knew what would set him off and cause him to eject people from the group list. A few days ago, one of the members (at least I think it was a member, but could have been a troll) from Annex posted two crits to C_W and I sent her an email telling her what she'd done. The next morning, I got up and went to work and checked my email to find that Mark had not only booted me from C_W, but had banned me from ever returning as well. I was shocked, but I admit that I sort of saw it coming. Just by my joining Annex, even for a short period of time, I KNEW he would see me as some kind of 'traitor.' That wasn't it at all. I just wanted one more writing group to circulate my stuff around in. But that's the way he sees things. I'm pretty sure Mark had another friend of his named Helen (or he might have done it himself) go into Annex under a different name and get the member list there and/or scrolled through the posts to see what people from his group were ther and what they might have said. He (or they) found maybe two or three posts from me and that was it. He booted me out. Of course, I was pretty brutal on the last critique I gave him. I'm sure that didn't help either.
In retrospect, I'm not too unhappy to see Critical_Writing go, and even though I had a couple of friends there that I'll miss, the group itself was undermining my creativity so badly that I literally couldn't write anything that wasn't geared to please them. It got to the point where I'd finally write something that I actually liked, and I'd submit it there for crtique, and they'd rip it to shreds and say it was boring. They hated anything that wasn't fantasy, sci-fi or horror. The only reason I stayed so long was Mark himself - he's a damned good writer even though he's somewhat afraid to find out just how good he is due to some inner fear of rejection. I wanted to emulate his style so badly, knowing that if he wouldn't seek publication, I could adopt his style and do it for my damned self. I'm used to rejection. Now, at least he's trying to publish stuff with some online magazines, and I suppose that's a start. I overlooked his volatile temperament for so long because I knew how creative-types can be. They are frequently explosive in temper, but the fruit of their minds is a glory to behold. I don't really hate him for booting me out. I always knew that if I ever left that group it would be because they kicked me out. No surprise there. Maybe now that C_W is behind me, I can now focus on writing what I want to write, rather than writing to please a clicque.
2. No place quiet to write.
I live in a tin can of a mobile home and I earn 35K annually. My husband makes even more than I do.We live in a city that boasts the most-inflated real estate values in the country. Milk is 4 bucks a gallon, nearly twice that of gasoline. It's so expensive to live here that even though we earn 70K a year, we're still scraping by from paycheck to paycheck. Hence, the trailer and its matchstick walls.There's four of us crammed into a small space and I have nowhere quiet to go so that I can clear my mind enough to focus on my writing.
That's why I'm studying to get my securities license, so that I can make enough money at a second job to get into a bigger place.
3. My health is going downhill due to job stress.
I'm tired every day and I have to force myself to get up and go to work. I have headaches almost all of the time now, and I have no energy. I know that part of it is my high blood pressure and sleep problems (I haven't had a solid night's sleep in months). And the other part of it is stress, which aggravates the first two things just mentioned. I literally can't afford to go to a doctor, but I'm going to have to do so and soon. The other night, my blood pressure was up so high that I was certain that I'd have a heart attack or stroke before the night was over. If I'm tired and hurting, there's no way I can write.
And there's TV. Sometimes I just vegetate in front of the tube and next thing I know, the day's gone by. There may be something even deeper than that. A fear of failure, maybe, or something else I can't even identify. Whatever it is, I can't seem to get around it.
Anyway, I'm working some of my older stuff now, and hoping that with the severe reduction in the number of critique groups my writing muse will one day return. I'm pretty sure it's not just simple writer's block. It's almost a death of my creative side. If it's not dead, it's at least severely atrophied. In time, maybe if I get into a larger house and with an office where I can have peace and quiet, and if my health can return to the point where I'm not tired all the time, I might be able to get something done. Until then, I guess I'm editing my brains out.
Write on,
Jillian