A Year of Many Changes
I suppose that for me, the year 2010 is one for the record books.
Unfortunately, I haven't written on this particular blog in a while because of health issues (which I've gone into detail on another blog that I'll link to this site one of these days) as well as wanting to keep this one related more to my writing than whining about my personal problems.
(Erm, yeah, right.)
Anyway, here's a quick rundown of my life since I last posted here. This past May, I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma of the breast and ended up having to get a mastectomy on my right side. Suffice it to say that though it was not a fun experience, I did get very, very lucky in that they caught it early. So early, in fact, that I don't even need radiation or chemo. This demoralized me and distracted me so much from my writing that it's taken me a couple of months to get my head screwed back on straight. The cancer, according to the docs, is gone -- for now. There is a small chance that it may return, but for now they can't do anything else for me.
For more detail on my harrowing journey, see this link to a story I wrote on Breastcancerstories.org:
http://www.breastcancerstories.org/chapter/71531
It's funny how much your life can change in so short a time period. The thing about cancer is that when the "C-Bomb" is dropped on you, you suddenly remember all those stupid little things you always wanted to do in your life but could never find the time. You think you have all the time in the world and then suddenly there's the possibility that you can have as little as 6 months left to live. The idea of the grim reaper knocking on your front door has a way of changing your perspective in a hurry. So, when I invested a great deal of money in a business only to watch it fizzle to nothing and then got the cancer diagnosis, I felt like I'd been hit in the face with a shovel. Have you ever cried uncontrollably while you were laughing your ass off at the same time? Yeah, that happened to me. As one friend asked me, "What the hell did you do to piss God off?" It was like a sick cosmic joke, my colossal bad luck. Still, the experience has forced me to ask myself, "What exactly do I want to do with my life?"
There is only one answer to that -- the only answer there has ever been: I want to write.
I never did try to revive the Express. Instead, I'm chalking it up as a learning experience, one that I don't really regret, looking back on it now. Before I kick the bucket (whenever that day will be) at least I can honestly say that I was once a publisher. In regard to the cancer, I went through my "boo hoo" grieving period and got over it relatively quickly. Even though it still looms large in my life, it's not ruling my every moment. Life goes on.
And now, back to the subject of writing.
I've been reworking my MS for "Lord of Shadows," calling it now "Shadow World," and my research has taken me to some interesting places both online and in real life. Without going too much into the plot, my queries on the book's theme have connected me to some interesting people (even if they're a bit wacko) in the UFO community. These include people peripherally involved in the "Skinwalker Ranch" story, where shadow folk have been seen on a regular basis.
From there I was led to another guy named "Chuck" who discussed at length his UFO abductee experiences (and whom, I concluded, has to be a textbook paranoid schizophrenic). He describes daily visits by glowing ethereal beings who communicate to him via a homeless man who "channels" alien messages for the supposed benefit of mankind every Thursday at 7:00pm, Pacific Daylight Time. I eventually wandered on and found even more strangeness. On one long-forgotten paranormal site, I discovered yet another paranoid schizophrenic who regaled me with his theories of "God as a Predatory Superbeing." That was neat - so neat that I'm probably going to actually include part of his theory in my writings somehow, citing him as a source, of course. Just because he's nuts doesn't mean he shouldn't get credit for his ideas.
A source is a source, of course, of course. La, la, la.
Then, after months of alternately reading up on black magic and M-Theory, I finally arrived at a fork in the road concerning my theme. I had to make a decision as to whether or not I wanted to take this in a "demonic" or a "UFO" direction. The demonic path would be easier to write, but the UFO angle is more interesting -- at least to me. So, I flipped a coin and am now going with the sci-fi version, hence the renaming of the book. When you write sci-fi, though, you're expected to use actual science as a backdrop to the story to help suspend disbelief. That's been tough, but I think I've got most of it nailed down now. It's difficult for a right-brained, math-abhorring, creative-type person to wrap their head around things like "quantum tunneling" and "wave particle duality." I've had to sit down and read Stephen Hawking and watch Michio Kaku videos, for God's sake! But, such sacrifices must be made in the interest of writing.
Anyway, as long as I love the paranormal and can turn it into a story people will actually want to read, I don't mind the research. I find UFO people endlessly fascinating. Why? I have no real idea, except that I've had a few experiences of my own along that line that I can't truly explain away, so I can't call an Abductee crazy with any real confidence. I'll leave that to the hard-core skeptics out there in the world.
First draft of "Shadow World" is almost complete. I just need to wind it up and resolve a few things. Then I'm going to rewrite it yet again to tighten it up. I tend to be wordy and I have a lot of chiseling to do on that MS. On the bright side, though, I think this is going to be "the one."
Maybe. We'll see.
It would be nice to be able to put "published author" or "best-selling novelist" in my obituary along with the word "publisher" before all's said and done.
Until later,
Jill
Jill's Forgotten Corner of Curiosities
A chronicle of my adventures in the business of writing and publishing.
What the heck IS this?
This is a compilation of my blogger & journal entries I've made since approximately 2004, mostly concerning my writing and other what-nots and what-ifs. I have 4 other blogs which I'm going to combine with this one, so to those who know me, bear with me.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Just When I Thought the Express was Dead...
Seems as though my little magazine has done a Lazarus. Terry and Desi met with a local real estate group today (one that Terry had sold ads to while we were still up and running) and it turns out they're interested in buying the paper.
Apparently, since we stopped publishing 2 weeks ago, one of their housing development offices has been flooded with phone calls asking where the Express went and how could they get one. This phenomena alone convinced them - if no one else - that the Express has dedicated readers. Not just a few. Thousands of them. So, now they're calling us in and wanting to know if we're willing to work a deal where they take over 75% of the company, and allow me creative freedom to continue printing the Express as I see fit. (This is what they told Terry, no kidding). After the hell I've been through with this paper over the last 8 months, I'm still hesitant to get involved in it again, but if someone else is willing to cough up the $100,000 to help us get back on our feet and if they're willing to handle the books, I could be talked into building the damned thing again.
Thing is, I really wanted an arts/community magazine, where local writers could publish their stories and get exposure for their work, not a mag devoted to hawking real estate. But this is a conflict as old as publishing itself - the creative folks are always at war with the ones who hold the purse strings. Besides, if Terry knew just how much I loathe/hate/execrate building real estate publications, he wouldn't even bring up the subject. If it's going to come back, I want it to be a community-focused magazine, not an outlet to sell modular homes. Modular homes can be in it, but I don't want that to dominate the publication. Even so, it's beginning to look again more and more like I'm not going to have any choice in the matter. I'm 20 grand in debt and need a life preserver, and this company is willing to throw me one, so it's either take it or drown. Sucks, yes, but that's life. And it's not like people are banging on my front door to offer me a job or anything.
In the meantime, I've got my health issues to deal with. I made a batch of doctor appointments today for both myself and Alex. Alex hasn't seen a doctor in a long, long time because every time I bring it up, he fights me about it. In the meantime, his feet are getting worse and worse. I suspect he may have diabetes, but he insists he doesn't and therein lies the problem. If Alex doesn't believe that something's wrong with him, then it simply doesn't exist. At least his sister is self-aware enough to take care of her health and such. But Alex is even more Aspergian than I am, and short of God Himself appearing in his room and telling him to handle his problems, Alex won't budge. Ed is the same way. How an uncle and a nephew can be so much alike astounds me.
Recently, I've been browsing about the net, paying visits to all my old chat boards, just to see who's still there and who isn't. I haven't visited some of them in years, and unsurprisingly, many of the old regulars I knew are gone. The boards are populated mostly with snot-nosed brats who attack others who are trying to have a decent conversation. It all bores me, unfortunately. Seems like there's nothing interesting online anymore.
So, to ward off dying of boredom, I've dug out my latest manuscript, "LOS" from '07 and have begun revisions on it again, as well as adding some more material I've collected in note form that I've been neglecting up until now. There's some neat stuff about Skinwalker Ranch in NE Utah that ties in nicely with my core theme, and I've got to re-read Colm Kelleher's book "Hunt for the Skinwalker" in order to refresh my memory on the events that went on there. I read it last year sometime, and though I thought it was way, way out there in terms of suspension of disbelief, it strikes a chord in me for some reason. Being a person who relies on a gut instinct that has always served me well, I think I'm going to pick up this particular thread on Skinwalker Ranch and follow it, just to see where it goes. I'm having more fun researching LOS than I am writing it, but it's a chore that must be done. The guy that runs the Skinwalker Ranch website knows several of the main players in that story and if I can somehow wangle an interview qith one of them. The other person I need an interview with is Dr. Persinger up in Canada, the one who did those experiments with the electromagnetic helmet he built. Once I have those, I think I'll have everything I need to finish LOS and get it ready for publication.
Anyway, that's the long and the short of what's going on right now. I don't know if I want to bother resurrecting the paper again. I'll entertain the idea as long as everyone involved knows that I'm only going to deal with the creative projects; absolutely NO accounting, no payroll, no dealing with employees, and no direct contact with clients. I simply can't deal with all of that anymore. I was roped into doing that before. Never again.
Until later,
Jillian
Seems as though my little magazine has done a Lazarus. Terry and Desi met with a local real estate group today (one that Terry had sold ads to while we were still up and running) and it turns out they're interested in buying the paper.
Apparently, since we stopped publishing 2 weeks ago, one of their housing development offices has been flooded with phone calls asking where the Express went and how could they get one. This phenomena alone convinced them - if no one else - that the Express has dedicated readers. Not just a few. Thousands of them. So, now they're calling us in and wanting to know if we're willing to work a deal where they take over 75% of the company, and allow me creative freedom to continue printing the Express as I see fit. (This is what they told Terry, no kidding). After the hell I've been through with this paper over the last 8 months, I'm still hesitant to get involved in it again, but if someone else is willing to cough up the $100,000 to help us get back on our feet and if they're willing to handle the books, I could be talked into building the damned thing again.
Thing is, I really wanted an arts/community magazine, where local writers could publish their stories and get exposure for their work, not a mag devoted to hawking real estate. But this is a conflict as old as publishing itself - the creative folks are always at war with the ones who hold the purse strings. Besides, if Terry knew just how much I loathe/hate/execrate building real estate publications, he wouldn't even bring up the subject. If it's going to come back, I want it to be a community-focused magazine, not an outlet to sell modular homes. Modular homes can be in it, but I don't want that to dominate the publication. Even so, it's beginning to look again more and more like I'm not going to have any choice in the matter. I'm 20 grand in debt and need a life preserver, and this company is willing to throw me one, so it's either take it or drown. Sucks, yes, but that's life. And it's not like people are banging on my front door to offer me a job or anything.
In the meantime, I've got my health issues to deal with. I made a batch of doctor appointments today for both myself and Alex. Alex hasn't seen a doctor in a long, long time because every time I bring it up, he fights me about it. In the meantime, his feet are getting worse and worse. I suspect he may have diabetes, but he insists he doesn't and therein lies the problem. If Alex doesn't believe that something's wrong with him, then it simply doesn't exist. At least his sister is self-aware enough to take care of her health and such. But Alex is even more Aspergian than I am, and short of God Himself appearing in his room and telling him to handle his problems, Alex won't budge. Ed is the same way. How an uncle and a nephew can be so much alike astounds me.
Recently, I've been browsing about the net, paying visits to all my old chat boards, just to see who's still there and who isn't. I haven't visited some of them in years, and unsurprisingly, many of the old regulars I knew are gone. The boards are populated mostly with snot-nosed brats who attack others who are trying to have a decent conversation. It all bores me, unfortunately. Seems like there's nothing interesting online anymore.
So, to ward off dying of boredom, I've dug out my latest manuscript, "LOS" from '07 and have begun revisions on it again, as well as adding some more material I've collected in note form that I've been neglecting up until now. There's some neat stuff about Skinwalker Ranch in NE Utah that ties in nicely with my core theme, and I've got to re-read Colm Kelleher's book "Hunt for the Skinwalker" in order to refresh my memory on the events that went on there. I read it last year sometime, and though I thought it was way, way out there in terms of suspension of disbelief, it strikes a chord in me for some reason. Being a person who relies on a gut instinct that has always served me well, I think I'm going to pick up this particular thread on Skinwalker Ranch and follow it, just to see where it goes. I'm having more fun researching LOS than I am writing it, but it's a chore that must be done. The guy that runs the Skinwalker Ranch website knows several of the main players in that story and if I can somehow wangle an interview qith one of them. The other person I need an interview with is Dr. Persinger up in Canada, the one who did those experiments with the electromagnetic helmet he built. Once I have those, I think I'll have everything I need to finish LOS and get it ready for publication.
Anyway, that's the long and the short of what's going on right now. I don't know if I want to bother resurrecting the paper again. I'll entertain the idea as long as everyone involved knows that I'm only going to deal with the creative projects; absolutely NO accounting, no payroll, no dealing with employees, and no direct contact with clients. I simply can't deal with all of that anymore. I was roped into doing that before. Never again.
Until later,
Jillian
Saturday, February 20, 2010
From Zero to Publisher in 15 years
February 5, 2010 heralded the end of my venture into the print publishing business. It's sort of a long story, but here goes.
Back in 2008, I left my graphics job in South Carolina to return to Arizona to help look after my mother, who is getting on in years and needs assistance around the house. It wasn't a big loss - I was already so burned out on building ads and doing page design that my eyes crossed everytime I turned on a computer screen. So, I made the 2,000+ mile trek back to AZ and settled in, finding a job at the local newspaper (heretofore referred to as "the Sun").
I started out there as an assistant in the Marketing department, working for one of the most scatter-brained people I've ever met. I found out within a week that I couldn't work for her. She's one of those severely ADHD people who expect me to read their minds and know what they want done. Well, having failed Psychic 101 in college, I decided I'd had enough of the marketing department and jumped on a job opening in the paper's graphics department. Unfortunately, this same woman held sway over THAT department as well, and as a team, we were barely able to keep up with her demands week to week. I finally grew tired of having to complete 65 man-hours of work in a 40-hour week (God HELP us if we got any overtime!) and began looking for another job surreptitiously 6 months later.
I didn't find anything, and believe me, I looked. Around my 9-month anniversary, I finally got my 90-day review (that's how backed-up things were in that office), which went well. My supervisor, a young man named Doug, gave me a nice review, but told me that due to the company's financial problems, he'd be unable to give me a raise anytime in the foreseeable future and there might even be a pay cut on the horizon. At that point, I mentally "checked out" of that job.
I showed up at work every day and completed my tasks like a good worker drone, but my attitude grew worse and worse as time went on. Finally, by the end of that month, I was out of there. My husband, Terry, had been after me for quite some time to start my own publication -- something I had thought about in the past, but never knew how or where the money would come from to get such a thing off the ground. I didn't have $100,000 to get a business going, and I knew from the get-go that's what I would need to sustain the publication long enough to get it going and get people used to seeing it. Turns out that in the end, after I left The Sun, I started the company with about $18,000. It wasn't enough to get the paper going like I'd wanted, but by July 3rd, 2009, we came out with our first publication (heretofore referred to as The Express).
The first Express weekly magazine had maybe 10 ads in it, all sold without the clients ever having seen the magazine. We printed 30,000 of these things and hand-delivered them all over town and placed them in racks here and there, near grocery stores and such. The money lasted for about 2 months. At the end of August, I ran out of capital and had to borrow more money to keep going.
I wanted out of this by then. Advertisers didn't really like the Express because it was still "new," but oddly enough, the readers LOVED it. Problem was that we couldn't figure out a way to prove it. So, I placed a series of cash prize puzzles in it that people would fill out and send in. We received tons of these entries every week. Terry, who was in charge of our sales crew, didn't utilize these entries until it was too late. I ended up owing $7,500 to one print facility (based on 3 checks the other business partners had me write) and I'm STILL paying on that debt. I borrowed money again from another partner (or rather, Terry did, in my name) even when I BEGGED them just to let the paper die. No one was willing to let the paper die while I still only owed a relatively small amount of money. No, their names weren't involved anywhere except on an LLC form. The accounts, the lease and everything were all still in my name. What did it matter to them if the business failed? In the end, none of them - my husband included - didn't owe anyone a nickel. All the burden of debt shifted onto me.
I published the last Express on February 5th, 2010, about 8 months after we began. We'd lasted a lot longer than "The Sun" or any of our other competitors ever gave us credit for. In fact, The Sun flicked us so much shit behind closed doors while we were in business that we never had a chance. By "behind closed doors" I mean that their sales reps and management talked us down to clients ("Oh, they'll be out of business in 4 weeks," or "That paper is run by a bunch of traitors from our company.") and so on. They went to all the civic and charity groups in town, talked us down, telling these business owners over drinks that our sole reason for being in business was to "Puff up" the value of our paper then turn around and sell it for a huge profit. I had to laugh at that one - especially coming from representatives of that particular company.
The Sun is part of a larger media group that is nearly a billion dollars in debt and currently going through bankrupcty. At the moment, they're trying to sell off not one, but FIVE papers to another upstart media group in Arizona for around 2.5 million. Just a few years ago, that sale would have been worth ten times that much. A typical newspaper should be worth about 25 million (or was, before the advent of the internet), and now they're trying to sell five of them for a small fraction of that amount. I'm quite frankly curious how they're able to keep their doors open and pay over 100 employees while operating that far in debt. Anyway, even with their own internal problems to contend with, they still managed to take time out of their busy day to denigrate our paper every which way they could. I have video of several of their in-house carriers taking our papers (and papers of other publishers) out of our racks and throwing them away. They'd leave the display paper in the window tray, but the rest of them in the slot behind it went straight into the trash. One of the carriers even threw away a real estate publication that was displayed in this same rack that The Sun BUILT and PUBLISHED for them! Now how stupid is THAT! Then, after the offending papers were removed, the carrier would put other papers that the Sun printed/produced into slots in this rack that they never bothered pay the rack's owner for. Click here to view one of the videos.
Apparently, The Sun figured that since it was "The Daily Paper" in this town, this gives them carte blanche to do whatever the hell they want, knowing full well there isn't really anything we can do about it. Hell, it wasn't like any of us have the money to sue them over it. I suppose I could have fought back, and maybe if I had been a little more childish and vengeful, I might have done some nasty things in return, but honestly, I truly don't care anymore. In the end, they'll go to online only before long, if not shut their doors completely. The Express wasn't about me getting them back anyway. The only thing I wanted was to work somewhere else, that's all. Unfortunately, their entire managerial staff over there is just too bloody stupid to see that. I guess it's just too fucking "simple" for them to understand.
Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I'm done with the newspaper business and I don't care to work in it ever again, in any way shape, or form. This experience has sealed it for me. I'm done. Terry wants to keep the company going, but I don't. I see it as a lose/lose situation, even if we come out with just a monthly publication. I owe so much money right now that I can't think of any possible way to pay it back, even if I got a really good job. Because of the recession, there are no jobs out there - even crummy fast food jobs are fought over these days - and thus no way to make any money to even start paying anyone off. I'm going to have to file bankruptcy and that means I'll have to cancel the business license and the tax ID numbers I've got for the company.
The long and the short of it is this: As far as I'm concerned, Print is dead - at least right now. I can't see any way for anyone to make any money in print as long as the internet remains the way it is. Now if we have a giant solar flare or something that takes down the internet, maybe print will make its triumphant return, but that's not likely to happen. Even if it does, the Internet will be back up and running before long, anyway. Essentially, the only way the Internet will end is when mankind does, unless something happens to throw us back into the stone age, like war or a meteor strike. For now, I'm back to the drawing board, figuring out what I want to do next.
I want to keep writing. I've been ill for the past few years (still am - I was in the hospital just yesterday, getting 3 pints of blood pumped into me because my hemoglobin levels had gotten so low that I nearly died). At least now I have state-funded healthcare for the time being, and while I've got it, I'm going to get some health issues addressed. I'll find a job sooner or later, even if The Sun has tried to have me blacklisted as a "bad employee" in this community. I may even have to leave town to find work, but that's just life. I'll move on.
In the meantime, since I now have a little time on my hands, it's time to do what I actually want to do and get some writing done.
Until later, whenever that might be -
Jill
February 5, 2010 heralded the end of my venture into the print publishing business. It's sort of a long story, but here goes.
Back in 2008, I left my graphics job in South Carolina to return to Arizona to help look after my mother, who is getting on in years and needs assistance around the house. It wasn't a big loss - I was already so burned out on building ads and doing page design that my eyes crossed everytime I turned on a computer screen. So, I made the 2,000+ mile trek back to AZ and settled in, finding a job at the local newspaper (heretofore referred to as "the Sun").
I started out there as an assistant in the Marketing department, working for one of the most scatter-brained people I've ever met. I found out within a week that I couldn't work for her. She's one of those severely ADHD people who expect me to read their minds and know what they want done. Well, having failed Psychic 101 in college, I decided I'd had enough of the marketing department and jumped on a job opening in the paper's graphics department. Unfortunately, this same woman held sway over THAT department as well, and as a team, we were barely able to keep up with her demands week to week. I finally grew tired of having to complete 65 man-hours of work in a 40-hour week (God HELP us if we got any overtime!) and began looking for another job surreptitiously 6 months later.
I didn't find anything, and believe me, I looked. Around my 9-month anniversary, I finally got my 90-day review (that's how backed-up things were in that office), which went well. My supervisor, a young man named Doug, gave me a nice review, but told me that due to the company's financial problems, he'd be unable to give me a raise anytime in the foreseeable future and there might even be a pay cut on the horizon. At that point, I mentally "checked out" of that job.
I showed up at work every day and completed my tasks like a good worker drone, but my attitude grew worse and worse as time went on. Finally, by the end of that month, I was out of there. My husband, Terry, had been after me for quite some time to start my own publication -- something I had thought about in the past, but never knew how or where the money would come from to get such a thing off the ground. I didn't have $100,000 to get a business going, and I knew from the get-go that's what I would need to sustain the publication long enough to get it going and get people used to seeing it. Turns out that in the end, after I left The Sun, I started the company with about $18,000. It wasn't enough to get the paper going like I'd wanted, but by July 3rd, 2009, we came out with our first publication (heretofore referred to as The Express).
The first Express weekly magazine had maybe 10 ads in it, all sold without the clients ever having seen the magazine. We printed 30,000 of these things and hand-delivered them all over town and placed them in racks here and there, near grocery stores and such. The money lasted for about 2 months. At the end of August, I ran out of capital and had to borrow more money to keep going.
I wanted out of this by then. Advertisers didn't really like the Express because it was still "new," but oddly enough, the readers LOVED it. Problem was that we couldn't figure out a way to prove it. So, I placed a series of cash prize puzzles in it that people would fill out and send in. We received tons of these entries every week. Terry, who was in charge of our sales crew, didn't utilize these entries until it was too late. I ended up owing $7,500 to one print facility (based on 3 checks the other business partners had me write) and I'm STILL paying on that debt. I borrowed money again from another partner (or rather, Terry did, in my name) even when I BEGGED them just to let the paper die. No one was willing to let the paper die while I still only owed a relatively small amount of money. No, their names weren't involved anywhere except on an LLC form. The accounts, the lease and everything were all still in my name. What did it matter to them if the business failed? In the end, none of them - my husband included - didn't owe anyone a nickel. All the burden of debt shifted onto me.
I published the last Express on February 5th, 2010, about 8 months after we began. We'd lasted a lot longer than "The Sun" or any of our other competitors ever gave us credit for. In fact, The Sun flicked us so much shit behind closed doors while we were in business that we never had a chance. By "behind closed doors" I mean that their sales reps and management talked us down to clients ("Oh, they'll be out of business in 4 weeks," or "That paper is run by a bunch of traitors from our company.") and so on. They went to all the civic and charity groups in town, talked us down, telling these business owners over drinks that our sole reason for being in business was to "Puff up" the value of our paper then turn around and sell it for a huge profit. I had to laugh at that one - especially coming from representatives of that particular company.
The Sun is part of a larger media group that is nearly a billion dollars in debt and currently going through bankrupcty. At the moment, they're trying to sell off not one, but FIVE papers to another upstart media group in Arizona for around 2.5 million. Just a few years ago, that sale would have been worth ten times that much. A typical newspaper should be worth about 25 million (or was, before the advent of the internet), and now they're trying to sell five of them for a small fraction of that amount. I'm quite frankly curious how they're able to keep their doors open and pay over 100 employees while operating that far in debt. Anyway, even with their own internal problems to contend with, they still managed to take time out of their busy day to denigrate our paper every which way they could. I have video of several of their in-house carriers taking our papers (and papers of other publishers) out of our racks and throwing them away. They'd leave the display paper in the window tray, but the rest of them in the slot behind it went straight into the trash. One of the carriers even threw away a real estate publication that was displayed in this same rack that The Sun BUILT and PUBLISHED for them! Now how stupid is THAT! Then, after the offending papers were removed, the carrier would put other papers that the Sun printed/produced into slots in this rack that they never bothered pay the rack's owner for. Click here to view one of the videos.
Apparently, The Sun figured that since it was "The Daily Paper" in this town, this gives them carte blanche to do whatever the hell they want, knowing full well there isn't really anything we can do about it. Hell, it wasn't like any of us have the money to sue them over it. I suppose I could have fought back, and maybe if I had been a little more childish and vengeful, I might have done some nasty things in return, but honestly, I truly don't care anymore. In the end, they'll go to online only before long, if not shut their doors completely. The Express wasn't about me getting them back anyway. The only thing I wanted was to work somewhere else, that's all. Unfortunately, their entire managerial staff over there is just too bloody stupid to see that. I guess it's just too fucking "simple" for them to understand.
Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I'm done with the newspaper business and I don't care to work in it ever again, in any way shape, or form. This experience has sealed it for me. I'm done. Terry wants to keep the company going, but I don't. I see it as a lose/lose situation, even if we come out with just a monthly publication. I owe so much money right now that I can't think of any possible way to pay it back, even if I got a really good job. Because of the recession, there are no jobs out there - even crummy fast food jobs are fought over these days - and thus no way to make any money to even start paying anyone off. I'm going to have to file bankruptcy and that means I'll have to cancel the business license and the tax ID numbers I've got for the company.
The long and the short of it is this: As far as I'm concerned, Print is dead - at least right now. I can't see any way for anyone to make any money in print as long as the internet remains the way it is. Now if we have a giant solar flare or something that takes down the internet, maybe print will make its triumphant return, but that's not likely to happen. Even if it does, the Internet will be back up and running before long, anyway. Essentially, the only way the Internet will end is when mankind does, unless something happens to throw us back into the stone age, like war or a meteor strike. For now, I'm back to the drawing board, figuring out what I want to do next.
I want to keep writing. I've been ill for the past few years (still am - I was in the hospital just yesterday, getting 3 pints of blood pumped into me because my hemoglobin levels had gotten so low that I nearly died). At least now I have state-funded healthcare for the time being, and while I've got it, I'm going to get some health issues addressed. I'll find a job sooner or later, even if The Sun has tried to have me blacklisted as a "bad employee" in this community. I may even have to leave town to find work, but that's just life. I'll move on.
In the meantime, since I now have a little time on my hands, it's time to do what I actually want to do and get some writing done.
Until later, whenever that might be -
Jill
Friday, January 30, 2009
The Pinocchio Syndrome:
Breathing life into "wooden" characters
As a writer, have you ever been told your characters are two-dimensional or "wooden?" Some might call this problem the Pinocchio Syndrome – having wooden, puppet-like characters no reader can identify with. Whether a story is plot-driven or character-driven, ideally your characters should engage the reader, gain empathy and at the same time move the plot forward. In learning to further develop a character’s personality, ironically, one of the best examples is found in Carlo Collodi's tale of Pinocchio.
In this famous (and rather dark) children’s story, the marionette Pinocchio begins his life as a pine log. A log is probably the most basic of characters and yet Collodi gives Pinocchio a personality even before the character is truly "born." First, the reader is introduced to a magical log that sings and talks, and when the log is passed on to Geppetto, it takes on a more human-like form when it’s carved into a doll. As Geppetto works, the log cries out in pain, immediately eliciting empathy from readers. In his new form, Pinocchio begins to evolve, gaining all the attributes of a human boy.
To make a character more lifelike, even if it’s just a log like Pinocchio started out, you must give them a personality. Personality traits, as used in fiction, are any aspect of a character described in terms of how they think, act and in their general demeanor. For example, you can say your character is a scullery maid, but that isn’t necessarily a personality trait. Being a scullery maid is what the character "does" and though a person’s job can say a lot about them, this is a character detail, not a personality trait. You can have two scullery maids with completely different personalities.
The same thing applies with physical traits. You can say a character is a blonde girl in a pink mini-dress, but aside from the usual cliched stereotypes, what does this description really tell a reader about a character? Hair color and clothing is not quite enough to define personality. You have to go a little further than that.
A personality trait could be any of the following that describes a person: Shy, fastidious, youth-obsessed, gregarious, rude, stupid, intelligent, cowardly and just about any adjective you can think of. These traits, when combined with other physical traits, unique mannerisms and voice, et ceters all come together to create a mental image of your character. The trick is in how to show these traits to readers without overwhelming them with details. Some writers use a lengthy list called a Character Sketch to ask themselves questions about a given character. All you really need to know is the basics of the character’s personality to start with and then you build upon the sketch as events happen within your story.
Once you’ve sketched out a list of personality traits for your character, the next step is to give him or her a physical description, employment, habits and so on. Then you give them a "past," a present and a possible future (backstory). Again, try to avoid stereotypes. A blonde girl wearing a pink mini-dress is more fascinating to the reader if she’s extremely intelligent but has an inner fear of looking like a nerd. Keep your list handy as you write, because you will need to refer to it often as your story or novel chapters develop. Much as Collodi did with Pinocchio, get your character up and moving, then add bits and pieces of who they are and what they might become as you write the story itself. Disburse this information in small doses – only where it’s needed. There's a saying: "Actions speak louder than words." This is especially true when it comes to building characters.
Introduce your characters much as you’d introduce yourself to another person in real life. When you first meet someone, you automatically begin forming an opinion of this new person through a series of impressions you’ve gathered as you speak to them, observe their mannerisms and their behavior. Let the same thing happen for your characters. These things should flow naturally and chronologically into the story, developing along with the plot itself.As an example, let’s start with a basic wooden character named "Joe Smith." In an introductory paragraph, we'll leave out his surname. Contrary to popular belief among new writers, surnames do not need to be given out right away unless they’re needed to explain something in the story. In all reality, what information does a surname provide about a character? Nothing much. except for their heritage – and it’s a vague reference at that. Here’s a basic sentence about "Joe:"
'Joe was an overweight gas station attendant who fell in love with a girl he knew he could never have.'
This sentence tells you that Joe is:
1. Overweight
2. He works at a gas station
3. He falls in love with an unattainable girl.
First impressions mean everything when introducing your characters. Just because you might be able to see your character in your mind’s eye, this doesn’t mean the reader can. So, you will need to add a few more details and expand upon the sentence above. A practiced writer does this by inference within the running narrative of the story, using internal dialogue and the character’s actions. What this means is that you can obliquely refer to a character's personality trait or physical traits using whatever’s available in a given scene. To show that a character is overweight, it’s easy enough to state that they’re chubby, but it’s better to show the character as they’re constantly adjusting tight clothing or having problems walking. So Joe is overweight and has a crush on a girl. Big deal. There are a million other guys out there just like him. What sets Joe apart from every other overweight male person in the world?
This is when you need to give your characters a voice, much as Collodi did with the pine log that became Pinocchio. A character’s voice is not just in how they speak within written dialogue, but also their inner thought process described in the narrative itself. Get creative. Add other facets to your character that affect their personality. Maybe they have an allergy, a phobia of birds or an ongoing illness. Show his/her mannerisms, tics, their way of speaking and their dress, and not just their dress but how their clothes fit and more. When it comes to extended details like clothing, it’s best to only describe an item or two, but make certain it says something about the character. Be creative with physical appearance, as well. In your description, be sure to "show" the character, don’t just "tell" the reader a fact or two about them. If your character is a brunette, for instance, don’t just say, "Clarice had long brown hair. Dirk thought it looked pretty in the sunlight." Instead, show Clarice’s hair in a way that’s unique to her, evokes emotion and moves the plot forward:
‘Clarice turned away and stared out at the ocean. Dirk noticed how her mouse-colored hair, when caressed by the sun, turned to a lustrous caramel.’
Much more information can be implied by being creative with a few choice adjectives and verbs. Let’s try to put a little more flesh on our puppet, Joe, with more elaboration added to the original sentence from earlier:
‘Joe worked at the Gas ‘n Go. His coworkers were always teasing him about his weight and he hated it. When he arrived at work one morning, unbeknownst to Joe, his zipper split open as he strained to get out of his car. On his way to clock in, his boss, Sam, caught a glimpse of Joe’s private parts and commented that Joe’s "car was exiting the garage." Because his belly was so big, Joe couldn't see his zipper, but nevertheless he was instantly embarrassed. This unfortunate event happened right in front of the pretty girl who worked behind the snack counter. Joe blushed and covered his open zipper with his hands. He then hurried to the restroom to fix it.’
In the above paragraph there is now a lot more information about Joe. It still doesn't quite convey enough about him as a person, but a reader can get a vague idea who Joe is and what he looks like. However, they still don’t really get a picture of Joe in mind. As you can probably tell in the above paragraph, there still isn’t quite enough about Joe to gain reader empathy.
There are two primary reasons for this lack of empathy for poor Joe. The first reason is that the details, though seemingly plentiful, are not introduced to the reader correctly. They are "told," not "shown." The second reason is that no firm point of view (POV) has been established. The paragraph above is loosely omniscient in POV. Omniscient POV has been used effectively by authors for many, many years, but readers these days tend to identify more with a firm Third Person or First Person point of view. Readers like to get to know a character and this means delving further into that characters’ thought process.
To make it easier for the reader to mentally connect with a character, ask the following questions when considering how to present them:
1. How does your character think and speak (internally and externally)?
2. What is the character’s usual demeanor? (Grumpy, sad, happy-go-lucky, etc.)
3. What do the other characters think of your main character? How do they generally react to him/her?
4. What does he/she look like? How does they see themselves?
5. What does he/she "do" in life and better yet, Why? (Jobs, hobbies, etc.)
Answering these questions will help you visualize your character as a person, especially when it comes to illustrating their good points and their flaws. Flaws are very important to making a character seem more human.
One of the reasons why Carlo Collodi’s marionette is a good example of a multifaceted character is due to Pinocchio’s flaws. Like people in real life, all characters must have flaws of some kind. Like real people, they will make mistakes and then pay for them, creating even more obstacles they must overcome. Everyone knows Pinocchio's most dominant flaw: his wooden nose grows longer every time he tells a lie. This a physical flaw the character is aware of. There are also other more prominent traits Pinocchio has that he is not aware of or is in denial about. These are shown through the character’s actions and in dialogue. Pinocchio’s personality is shown as impudent, foolish and prone to bad temper – all traits that make him every bit an ornery and all-too-human boy. Pinocchio, in making foolish decisions and having negative things happen to him, manages to learn about his flaws and overcome them along with other obstacles as the story progresses.
Bear in mind, you can’t address all of your character’s traits in one introductory paragraph, but you can hint at them here and there by using the character’s voice and thought process. Below is a further enhanced and expanded version of the basic paragraph above, using our puppet Joe, now shown with an inner voice and perceptions added along with several character traits and flaws thrown in. In this set of introductory paragraphs, you should now get a much better view of Joe:
‘Joe stood outside the Gas ‘n Go, wolfing down the last bits of three chili dogs he’d picked up on the way to work. He hesitated in front of the window. The new cashier, a wisp of a woman named Loretta, stood behind the counter. She was talking with Sam, the shop boss. Sam favored Loretta with his overly white smile and reached out to playfully chuck her under the chin. She recoiled and took a quick step backward, causing a strand of pale hair to come loose from beneath her cap. Joe finger-combed what few strands of hair remained on his balding pate and pushed in through the double doors. There was a small chance he could tiptoe by and get to the time-clock before the other two caught sight of him.
When he was about halfway across the store, his boss turned and stopped Joe with an upraised hand. "Hold on there, Porky. You’re late again." Sam then burst into laughter and pointed at Joe’s pants "Well lookee here! Your Volkswagen’s rolledout of the garage."
Joe peered downward and saw nothing but belly. However, there was definitely a breeze blowing in where it shouldn’t be. His zipper was wide open. He groaned inwardly. Yes, he’d been in a hurry to get to work, but how could he have forgotten to put on his briefs? Then it occurred to him that if Sam could see Joe’s privates, Loretta could, too. Every drop of blood in Joe’s body rushed up into his face. To her credit, Loretta looked away, as if she developed a sudden interest in the cigarette display behind her. Joe clapped both of his hands over the front of his pants, stifled a sob and hurried off to the men’s restroom. He wasn't about to let Loretta see him cry. She'd seen more than enough already.’
After reading about Joe the gas station attendant, above, you should now be able to picture what Joe looks like, how he thinks, what he does, how he might react in a given situation and more. In addition to his most prominent trait (his weight issues) you now know Joe is:
1. Balding
2. Chronically late and forgetful
3. So used to criticism that he doesn’t react to being called "Porky"
4. Bashful/shy, maybe even a little creepy
5. Attracted to the new cashier, Loretta.
Well-rounded characters have plenty of good and bad things about them. The key is to touch on these aspects as the story progresses. When you begin describing a character’s back-story (their personal history, as it affects the story as a whole), write it in relation to the plot itself.
For example, if Joe was humiliated in kindergarten because he was caught eating other kids’ lunches, this would be a useful fact about his character. However, you would have to insert this fact into the story at the right time, as it naturally fits into the plot. An example would be writing a scene where Joe goes to pick his nephew up from school and overhears other kids making snotty remarks about his nephew’s weight. This could trigger a flashback memory of the same thing happening to Joe himself many years before. Remember, when revealing details about a character, let them flow in as part of the story. Putting in details that add nothing of value to the plot is just "fluff" and only serves to bog down the reader.
The best way to introduce your characters to the reader by placing them in uncomfortable situations that immediately reveal their most prominent personality traits. Above, Joe is made very uncomfortable and as a reader you can judge him by how he handles the situation. Whether the initial impression is good or bad doesn't matter, it's the potential for fundamental change that interests a reader. Joe may be a cowardly, unattractive and creepy man, but if he’s shown to have emotions and goals, he has the potential to become something better.
Even secondary characters have wants, needs and goals, just make sure they tie in with the main plot and do not steal the stage from your main characters. If you're introducing secondary or even tertiary characters into a story, they should make an impression on the reader, but with fewer details. The less important the character, the less back-story they should need. Remember that every character, no matter how minor, must have a specific part to play in moving the plot forward. Introducing characters for setting value (part of the scenery) may be confusing if you tell us about their marital lives and what kind of latte they usually buy from the local coffee house. When it comes to secondary and tertiary characters, a good rule to remember is this:
if you're not going to use them, lose them.
Lastly, try to keep your characters balanced. If your protagonist is a genuinely good person, let him or her have a few bad qualities, too. If your antagonist is really bad, throw in a few good qualities for balance. A character that is overly good or bad will come off as unrealistic. Even if there is no fundamental change for the character in your story, the potential for it must remain in play. When a character has opportunities for change, this appeals to readers because it reinforces the unconscious hope all people have that their lives can transform, too. Adding just the right amount of detail to humanize your characters will make your story memorable – like Collodi’s Pinocchio, the ultimate "wooden" character.
- Until later, whenever that will be,
Jill
Breathing life into "wooden" characters
As a writer, have you ever been told your characters are two-dimensional or "wooden?" Some might call this problem the Pinocchio Syndrome – having wooden, puppet-like characters no reader can identify with. Whether a story is plot-driven or character-driven, ideally your characters should engage the reader, gain empathy and at the same time move the plot forward. In learning to further develop a character’s personality, ironically, one of the best examples is found in Carlo Collodi's tale of Pinocchio.
In this famous (and rather dark) children’s story, the marionette Pinocchio begins his life as a pine log. A log is probably the most basic of characters and yet Collodi gives Pinocchio a personality even before the character is truly "born." First, the reader is introduced to a magical log that sings and talks, and when the log is passed on to Geppetto, it takes on a more human-like form when it’s carved into a doll. As Geppetto works, the log cries out in pain, immediately eliciting empathy from readers. In his new form, Pinocchio begins to evolve, gaining all the attributes of a human boy.
To make a character more lifelike, even if it’s just a log like Pinocchio started out, you must give them a personality. Personality traits, as used in fiction, are any aspect of a character described in terms of how they think, act and in their general demeanor. For example, you can say your character is a scullery maid, but that isn’t necessarily a personality trait. Being a scullery maid is what the character "does" and though a person’s job can say a lot about them, this is a character detail, not a personality trait. You can have two scullery maids with completely different personalities.
The same thing applies with physical traits. You can say a character is a blonde girl in a pink mini-dress, but aside from the usual cliched stereotypes, what does this description really tell a reader about a character? Hair color and clothing is not quite enough to define personality. You have to go a little further than that.
A personality trait could be any of the following that describes a person: Shy, fastidious, youth-obsessed, gregarious, rude, stupid, intelligent, cowardly and just about any adjective you can think of. These traits, when combined with other physical traits, unique mannerisms and voice, et ceters all come together to create a mental image of your character. The trick is in how to show these traits to readers without overwhelming them with details. Some writers use a lengthy list called a Character Sketch to ask themselves questions about a given character. All you really need to know is the basics of the character’s personality to start with and then you build upon the sketch as events happen within your story.
Once you’ve sketched out a list of personality traits for your character, the next step is to give him or her a physical description, employment, habits and so on. Then you give them a "past," a present and a possible future (backstory). Again, try to avoid stereotypes. A blonde girl wearing a pink mini-dress is more fascinating to the reader if she’s extremely intelligent but has an inner fear of looking like a nerd. Keep your list handy as you write, because you will need to refer to it often as your story or novel chapters develop. Much as Collodi did with Pinocchio, get your character up and moving, then add bits and pieces of who they are and what they might become as you write the story itself. Disburse this information in small doses – only where it’s needed. There's a saying: "Actions speak louder than words." This is especially true when it comes to building characters.
Introduce your characters much as you’d introduce yourself to another person in real life. When you first meet someone, you automatically begin forming an opinion of this new person through a series of impressions you’ve gathered as you speak to them, observe their mannerisms and their behavior. Let the same thing happen for your characters. These things should flow naturally and chronologically into the story, developing along with the plot itself.As an example, let’s start with a basic wooden character named "Joe Smith." In an introductory paragraph, we'll leave out his surname. Contrary to popular belief among new writers, surnames do not need to be given out right away unless they’re needed to explain something in the story. In all reality, what information does a surname provide about a character? Nothing much. except for their heritage – and it’s a vague reference at that. Here’s a basic sentence about "Joe:"
'Joe was an overweight gas station attendant who fell in love with a girl he knew he could never have.'
This sentence tells you that Joe is:
1. Overweight
2. He works at a gas station
3. He falls in love with an unattainable girl.
First impressions mean everything when introducing your characters. Just because you might be able to see your character in your mind’s eye, this doesn’t mean the reader can. So, you will need to add a few more details and expand upon the sentence above. A practiced writer does this by inference within the running narrative of the story, using internal dialogue and the character’s actions. What this means is that you can obliquely refer to a character's personality trait or physical traits using whatever’s available in a given scene. To show that a character is overweight, it’s easy enough to state that they’re chubby, but it’s better to show the character as they’re constantly adjusting tight clothing or having problems walking. So Joe is overweight and has a crush on a girl. Big deal. There are a million other guys out there just like him. What sets Joe apart from every other overweight male person in the world?
This is when you need to give your characters a voice, much as Collodi did with the pine log that became Pinocchio. A character’s voice is not just in how they speak within written dialogue, but also their inner thought process described in the narrative itself. Get creative. Add other facets to your character that affect their personality. Maybe they have an allergy, a phobia of birds or an ongoing illness. Show his/her mannerisms, tics, their way of speaking and their dress, and not just their dress but how their clothes fit and more. When it comes to extended details like clothing, it’s best to only describe an item or two, but make certain it says something about the character. Be creative with physical appearance, as well. In your description, be sure to "show" the character, don’t just "tell" the reader a fact or two about them. If your character is a brunette, for instance, don’t just say, "Clarice had long brown hair. Dirk thought it looked pretty in the sunlight." Instead, show Clarice’s hair in a way that’s unique to her, evokes emotion and moves the plot forward:
‘Clarice turned away and stared out at the ocean. Dirk noticed how her mouse-colored hair, when caressed by the sun, turned to a lustrous caramel.’
Much more information can be implied by being creative with a few choice adjectives and verbs. Let’s try to put a little more flesh on our puppet, Joe, with more elaboration added to the original sentence from earlier:
‘Joe worked at the Gas ‘n Go. His coworkers were always teasing him about his weight and he hated it. When he arrived at work one morning, unbeknownst to Joe, his zipper split open as he strained to get out of his car. On his way to clock in, his boss, Sam, caught a glimpse of Joe’s private parts and commented that Joe’s "car was exiting the garage." Because his belly was so big, Joe couldn't see his zipper, but nevertheless he was instantly embarrassed. This unfortunate event happened right in front of the pretty girl who worked behind the snack counter. Joe blushed and covered his open zipper with his hands. He then hurried to the restroom to fix it.’
In the above paragraph there is now a lot more information about Joe. It still doesn't quite convey enough about him as a person, but a reader can get a vague idea who Joe is and what he looks like. However, they still don’t really get a picture of Joe in mind. As you can probably tell in the above paragraph, there still isn’t quite enough about Joe to gain reader empathy.
There are two primary reasons for this lack of empathy for poor Joe. The first reason is that the details, though seemingly plentiful, are not introduced to the reader correctly. They are "told," not "shown." The second reason is that no firm point of view (POV) has been established. The paragraph above is loosely omniscient in POV. Omniscient POV has been used effectively by authors for many, many years, but readers these days tend to identify more with a firm Third Person or First Person point of view. Readers like to get to know a character and this means delving further into that characters’ thought process.
To make it easier for the reader to mentally connect with a character, ask the following questions when considering how to present them:
1. How does your character think and speak (internally and externally)?
2. What is the character’s usual demeanor? (Grumpy, sad, happy-go-lucky, etc.)
3. What do the other characters think of your main character? How do they generally react to him/her?
4. What does he/she look like? How does they see themselves?
5. What does he/she "do" in life and better yet, Why? (Jobs, hobbies, etc.)
Answering these questions will help you visualize your character as a person, especially when it comes to illustrating their good points and their flaws. Flaws are very important to making a character seem more human.
One of the reasons why Carlo Collodi’s marionette is a good example of a multifaceted character is due to Pinocchio’s flaws. Like people in real life, all characters must have flaws of some kind. Like real people, they will make mistakes and then pay for them, creating even more obstacles they must overcome. Everyone knows Pinocchio's most dominant flaw: his wooden nose grows longer every time he tells a lie. This a physical flaw the character is aware of. There are also other more prominent traits Pinocchio has that he is not aware of or is in denial about. These are shown through the character’s actions and in dialogue. Pinocchio’s personality is shown as impudent, foolish and prone to bad temper – all traits that make him every bit an ornery and all-too-human boy. Pinocchio, in making foolish decisions and having negative things happen to him, manages to learn about his flaws and overcome them along with other obstacles as the story progresses.
Bear in mind, you can’t address all of your character’s traits in one introductory paragraph, but you can hint at them here and there by using the character’s voice and thought process. Below is a further enhanced and expanded version of the basic paragraph above, using our puppet Joe, now shown with an inner voice and perceptions added along with several character traits and flaws thrown in. In this set of introductory paragraphs, you should now get a much better view of Joe:
‘Joe stood outside the Gas ‘n Go, wolfing down the last bits of three chili dogs he’d picked up on the way to work. He hesitated in front of the window. The new cashier, a wisp of a woman named Loretta, stood behind the counter. She was talking with Sam, the shop boss. Sam favored Loretta with his overly white smile and reached out to playfully chuck her under the chin. She recoiled and took a quick step backward, causing a strand of pale hair to come loose from beneath her cap. Joe finger-combed what few strands of hair remained on his balding pate and pushed in through the double doors. There was a small chance he could tiptoe by and get to the time-clock before the other two caught sight of him.
When he was about halfway across the store, his boss turned and stopped Joe with an upraised hand. "Hold on there, Porky. You’re late again." Sam then burst into laughter and pointed at Joe’s pants "Well lookee here! Your Volkswagen’s rolledout of the garage."
Joe peered downward and saw nothing but belly. However, there was definitely a breeze blowing in where it shouldn’t be. His zipper was wide open. He groaned inwardly. Yes, he’d been in a hurry to get to work, but how could he have forgotten to put on his briefs? Then it occurred to him that if Sam could see Joe’s privates, Loretta could, too. Every drop of blood in Joe’s body rushed up into his face. To her credit, Loretta looked away, as if she developed a sudden interest in the cigarette display behind her. Joe clapped both of his hands over the front of his pants, stifled a sob and hurried off to the men’s restroom. He wasn't about to let Loretta see him cry. She'd seen more than enough already.’
After reading about Joe the gas station attendant, above, you should now be able to picture what Joe looks like, how he thinks, what he does, how he might react in a given situation and more. In addition to his most prominent trait (his weight issues) you now know Joe is:
1. Balding
2. Chronically late and forgetful
3. So used to criticism that he doesn’t react to being called "Porky"
4. Bashful/shy, maybe even a little creepy
5. Attracted to the new cashier, Loretta.
Well-rounded characters have plenty of good and bad things about them. The key is to touch on these aspects as the story progresses. When you begin describing a character’s back-story (their personal history, as it affects the story as a whole), write it in relation to the plot itself.
For example, if Joe was humiliated in kindergarten because he was caught eating other kids’ lunches, this would be a useful fact about his character. However, you would have to insert this fact into the story at the right time, as it naturally fits into the plot. An example would be writing a scene where Joe goes to pick his nephew up from school and overhears other kids making snotty remarks about his nephew’s weight. This could trigger a flashback memory of the same thing happening to Joe himself many years before. Remember, when revealing details about a character, let them flow in as part of the story. Putting in details that add nothing of value to the plot is just "fluff" and only serves to bog down the reader.
The best way to introduce your characters to the reader by placing them in uncomfortable situations that immediately reveal their most prominent personality traits. Above, Joe is made very uncomfortable and as a reader you can judge him by how he handles the situation. Whether the initial impression is good or bad doesn't matter, it's the potential for fundamental change that interests a reader. Joe may be a cowardly, unattractive and creepy man, but if he’s shown to have emotions and goals, he has the potential to become something better.
Even secondary characters have wants, needs and goals, just make sure they tie in with the main plot and do not steal the stage from your main characters. If you're introducing secondary or even tertiary characters into a story, they should make an impression on the reader, but with fewer details. The less important the character, the less back-story they should need. Remember that every character, no matter how minor, must have a specific part to play in moving the plot forward. Introducing characters for setting value (part of the scenery) may be confusing if you tell us about their marital lives and what kind of latte they usually buy from the local coffee house. When it comes to secondary and tertiary characters, a good rule to remember is this:
if you're not going to use them, lose them.
Lastly, try to keep your characters balanced. If your protagonist is a genuinely good person, let him or her have a few bad qualities, too. If your antagonist is really bad, throw in a few good qualities for balance. A character that is overly good or bad will come off as unrealistic. Even if there is no fundamental change for the character in your story, the potential for it must remain in play. When a character has opportunities for change, this appeals to readers because it reinforces the unconscious hope all people have that their lives can transform, too. Adding just the right amount of detail to humanize your characters will make your story memorable – like Collodi’s Pinocchio, the ultimate "wooden" character.
- Until later, whenever that will be,
Jill
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Back in the Saddle Again... well, sort of.
After months and months of being out of touch with everything from my relatives and friends to the internet, I'm back. After several months of one health problem after another, here I am again, much to everyone's dismay.
First off, let me say that Perimenopause is a bitch. I've been riding the hormone roller-coaster for over a year now and it's been literal hell. After turning 40, it seemed like my body took some kind of hidden cue and began acting up.
Last August, I noticed that I wasn't feeling so well. It was hot outside - ranging close to the hundred degree mark with 90% humidity, and on several occasions I almost fainted - once while driving. I put my general feeling of ill health down to the heat. Big mistake, that was.
On August 18th I was sitting in front of my computer at work, just minding my own business and typing away, when all of a sudden a bolt of pain knifed through my lower abdomen. I doubled over and clutched my stomach, instantly wondering if I'd eaten something bad that morning. But the pain was low in my stomach and deep, so I then figured it was something of a gynecological nature. I got up and went outside to get some fresh air, hoping to walk off the pain, but instead, it intensified. I went back inside the building and rushed to the bathroom because the pain became so pointed that I felt nauseous and I wanted to be near the commode in case I ended up driving the porcelain bus. (Throwing up).
In the bathroom, I felt a wave of nausea and dizziness that was so strong the room began to spin and that's when I became terrified that something inside me had ruptured and I was now bleeding internally. I staggered back into my cubicle and dropped into my desk chair, thinking that if I passed out, at least it would be where people would find me. My vision narrowed down to a tunnel and everyone's voices around me seemed far away and became somewhat fuzzy-sounding. That's when I knew I was going down for the count. Next thing I know, the room is bright and clear again, and someone was pressing a cold, wet rag to my forehead.
"You fainted," one of my coworkers told me. "How do you feel now?"
I just looked at her and shook my head. Even though I was alert and no longer feeling faint, I still felt weak and shaky. Sweat poured down my face and down my back. Apparently I was experiencing some form of shock, which can come with a sudden drop in blood pressure (sometimes associated with internal bleeding). As much as I hated to do it, I told them to call 911, which they did. When the EMTs showed up, they told me my blood pressure had dropped precipitously and that I was probably severely dehydrated - which I didn't understand because I'd been drinking juice and coffee all morning. I suspected that something inside me had ruptured and I was bleeding internally, and by the time I got out of the hospital, it turned out that I was "sort of" correct.
What they found was that one of my ovaries had ruptured due to a lemon-sized cyst that had been growing there. Apparently the sharp pain I'd felt that morning came around the time the cyst had popped, taking my ovary with it. The bad news was that there was another one on the other side that hadn't popped yet, and it was already the size of a golf ball.
When you hear the word 'cyst,' you start thinking it has something to do with cancer, and that was my immediate thought upon hearing the news. Unfortunately, because I have a mild form of autism and have A.D.D., everything they tried to explain to me went in one ear and right out the other. I struggled to understand what they said and none of it made sense. It seemed to be a gynecological problem, not a general practitioner kind of issue, so I went to an OB/GYN first. That doctor was the one who told me I also had gallstones (something that they never told me at the hospital). Still, he seemed to give me the bum's rush and told me to take some progesterone pills and sent me packing. I didn't have cancer, but something was wrong, and no one seemed to be able to tell me what it was. In the meantime, my menstrual cycle went haywire.
After several doctor's visits, I was told that in fact I'd had significant blood loss, but the ovary had already begun to heal. My left side was sore for weeks. The blood loss wasn't primarily due to the burst cyst, though, as I soon found out. My hemoglobin levels were around 5.5, when they 'should' be around 12 to 13. I didn't 'feel' anemic, though, except that one day. A charge nurse at the OB/GYN surmised that I probably had been anemic for so long that I simply didn't notice how low it had gotten. My menstrual cycle wasn't helping, either. I was on it every two weeks after the cyst burst, and when it happened, it lasted for almost two weeks and had a heaviness I'd never seen before. I was prescribed high-dose iron to combat the low red count, but was told it would take several months to build my hemoglobin levels back up, since iron is not easily digested in the system.
While I was taking the iron, my blood pressure (which had seemed 'normal' prior to taking the iron) shot up to stratospheric levels [170 over 102 was one reading that scared me and the doctor at the same time]. The doctor said the systolic reading was high, but what concerned him was the '102' number I mentioned just now. It meant that my heart was working really, really hard to push and pull blood out and that could be an indicator of an impending heart attack or stroke. The progesterone I was taking didn't help, either. Even though it leveled out my moods, huge bruises and thrombosed veins began appearing on my legs. Blood vessels were popping inside my skin like bubble wrap. One even appeared in my right eye and I stared out at teh world through a red haze for over a week. One of the thrombosed veins hurt badly and I remember looking at it and thinking, "What if this had happened in my brain instead of my legs?" The next day, I threw out the progesterone. The vein thrombosis and bruising cleared up and the skin on my legs went back to normal after a couple of weeks, but I vowed to never take progesterone again.
So, since then, my moods have been so up and down they threatened to give me mental whiplash. One day at work, I was in a meeting where we received some news about a possible outsource of graphic design to a company in India and as I tried to take up for our department by telling the publisher that outsourcing wasn't a good fit for our publication, I broke out in tears. While my coworkers stared at me in horror, I cried even harder and couldn't stop. I knew I looked like I'd lost it completely, so after a minute or two, I got up and walked out of the room without a word to anyone. Of course, news of the 'crying incident' spread like wildfire through the office and as I passed groups of people in the hallways, they'd go quiet and stare at me as though I'd just confessed to being the Unabomber or something. That's when I knew there was something seriously wrong with me. I scratched enough money to go back to the OB/GYN one more time.
The doctor (female this time) told me that I was perimenopausal and handed me a bunch of literature on it. She gave me more high-dose iron to take and refreshed my prescription of blood pressure medicine and highly advised me to come back the following week to get another ultrasound. Unfortunately, that never happened because my insurance plan changed at the beginning of the year and now it's the pay-up-front kind with a 20% deductible. A regular followup at a doctor's office will cost me anywhere from a $100 to $300 or more, especially if they run more tests like an ultrasound. I can't afford this, so I'm just keeping on with the iron and going to the ER every time I run out of blood pressure medicine. I have to keep this up until open enrollment in November where I can opt for the higher-priced 'premium' insurance plan offered by Aetna, or drop it altogether and try to get health insurance somewhere else outside the company.
By the way, Aetna seriously sucks!!!! For the last 2 years Aetna has taken over $8,000 from me in premium payments and the plan I got for it, I can't even afford to use. Now I hear on the news that Aetna isn't going to cover anaesthesia for procedures like Upper and Lower G.I. exams. What a crock of shit! Maybe we ought to get all of Aetna's shareholders and force them to get a colonoscopy WITHOUT anaesthesia and see how the hell THEY like it! Bastards. I hope they rot. As soon as November gets here, I'm opting out of my health coverage and registering myself a business license under my old graphics freelance name and I'm going to get Blue Cross/Blue Shield, like I had when I was at my old job. I don't care if I have to pay more for the coverage - at least BCBS will cover things like anaesthesia!
Yes, I repeat: AETNA SUCKS.
Anyway, my hemoglobin levels are still a little low (10.5 at the last red count I got), but at least I'm no longer in danger of needing a blood transfusion (something I fought tooth and nail to avoid). Other than the wild mood swings and the unpredictable menstrual cycle, I do feel better.
It occurred to me that people with Asperger's Syndrome have one big problem aside from the usual ones with social interaction and such, and that is they expect their bodies to keep functioning whether they pay attention to warning signs (like anemia) or not. I ignored my body's warning signs and kept ignoring them until it became critical. Had I not fainted that day at work, it would have happened somewhere else, like when I was driving my car. It could have killed me. I always expected my body just to keep going until the day it finally just shut down, but I never expected this. I neglected myself and this is what I got for it.
I've always thought of my body as a 'ship' - not a pretty one, and maybe not the most stable one, but a ship nonetheless. It's weathered many a storm that I've piloted it through - until now. Until I was hit by Hurricane Perimenopause. The only thing I can do is keep spooning iron in while my blood keeps leaking slowly out. Right now, I'm keeping keeping myself afloat, but there are some days when I feel like giving up and letting myself sink. But in the meantime, I write.
Writing has seen me through some awfully hard times and this is no exception. Despite my health problems, it helped take my mind off of it all by turning back to my stories. I've finished one more novel and started another in the past 6 months. Writing helps me forget 'me' for a little while and live in another world. I don't know what I'd do if I could no longer type or scribble down my stories.
Well, that's where I am. I'm trying to get one of my novels going and see where it leads me. I've also decided to put up another website that I can reference in my online travels and hopefully promote my book. I'm not going through agents or publishers right now, but I will again in the future. No, this time I'm going with a POD service, just to get it out there. It might be a mistake or it might not, but hey, I've got to try. I'm tired of sitting here and just letting bad things happen to me. I'm going to make something good happen to me for a change.
Until later,
Jillian
After months and months of being out of touch with everything from my relatives and friends to the internet, I'm back. After several months of one health problem after another, here I am again, much to everyone's dismay.
First off, let me say that Perimenopause is a bitch. I've been riding the hormone roller-coaster for over a year now and it's been literal hell. After turning 40, it seemed like my body took some kind of hidden cue and began acting up.
Last August, I noticed that I wasn't feeling so well. It was hot outside - ranging close to the hundred degree mark with 90% humidity, and on several occasions I almost fainted - once while driving. I put my general feeling of ill health down to the heat. Big mistake, that was.
On August 18th I was sitting in front of my computer at work, just minding my own business and typing away, when all of a sudden a bolt of pain knifed through my lower abdomen. I doubled over and clutched my stomach, instantly wondering if I'd eaten something bad that morning. But the pain was low in my stomach and deep, so I then figured it was something of a gynecological nature. I got up and went outside to get some fresh air, hoping to walk off the pain, but instead, it intensified. I went back inside the building and rushed to the bathroom because the pain became so pointed that I felt nauseous and I wanted to be near the commode in case I ended up driving the porcelain bus. (Throwing up).
In the bathroom, I felt a wave of nausea and dizziness that was so strong the room began to spin and that's when I became terrified that something inside me had ruptured and I was now bleeding internally. I staggered back into my cubicle and dropped into my desk chair, thinking that if I passed out, at least it would be where people would find me. My vision narrowed down to a tunnel and everyone's voices around me seemed far away and became somewhat fuzzy-sounding. That's when I knew I was going down for the count. Next thing I know, the room is bright and clear again, and someone was pressing a cold, wet rag to my forehead.
"You fainted," one of my coworkers told me. "How do you feel now?"
I just looked at her and shook my head. Even though I was alert and no longer feeling faint, I still felt weak and shaky. Sweat poured down my face and down my back. Apparently I was experiencing some form of shock, which can come with a sudden drop in blood pressure (sometimes associated with internal bleeding). As much as I hated to do it, I told them to call 911, which they did. When the EMTs showed up, they told me my blood pressure had dropped precipitously and that I was probably severely dehydrated - which I didn't understand because I'd been drinking juice and coffee all morning. I suspected that something inside me had ruptured and I was bleeding internally, and by the time I got out of the hospital, it turned out that I was "sort of" correct.
What they found was that one of my ovaries had ruptured due to a lemon-sized cyst that had been growing there. Apparently the sharp pain I'd felt that morning came around the time the cyst had popped, taking my ovary with it. The bad news was that there was another one on the other side that hadn't popped yet, and it was already the size of a golf ball.
When you hear the word 'cyst,' you start thinking it has something to do with cancer, and that was my immediate thought upon hearing the news. Unfortunately, because I have a mild form of autism and have A.D.D., everything they tried to explain to me went in one ear and right out the other. I struggled to understand what they said and none of it made sense. It seemed to be a gynecological problem, not a general practitioner kind of issue, so I went to an OB/GYN first. That doctor was the one who told me I also had gallstones (something that they never told me at the hospital). Still, he seemed to give me the bum's rush and told me to take some progesterone pills and sent me packing. I didn't have cancer, but something was wrong, and no one seemed to be able to tell me what it was. In the meantime, my menstrual cycle went haywire.
After several doctor's visits, I was told that in fact I'd had significant blood loss, but the ovary had already begun to heal. My left side was sore for weeks. The blood loss wasn't primarily due to the burst cyst, though, as I soon found out. My hemoglobin levels were around 5.5, when they 'should' be around 12 to 13. I didn't 'feel' anemic, though, except that one day. A charge nurse at the OB/GYN surmised that I probably had been anemic for so long that I simply didn't notice how low it had gotten. My menstrual cycle wasn't helping, either. I was on it every two weeks after the cyst burst, and when it happened, it lasted for almost two weeks and had a heaviness I'd never seen before. I was prescribed high-dose iron to combat the low red count, but was told it would take several months to build my hemoglobin levels back up, since iron is not easily digested in the system.
While I was taking the iron, my blood pressure (which had seemed 'normal' prior to taking the iron) shot up to stratospheric levels [170 over 102 was one reading that scared me and the doctor at the same time]. The doctor said the systolic reading was high, but what concerned him was the '102' number I mentioned just now. It meant that my heart was working really, really hard to push and pull blood out and that could be an indicator of an impending heart attack or stroke. The progesterone I was taking didn't help, either. Even though it leveled out my moods, huge bruises and thrombosed veins began appearing on my legs. Blood vessels were popping inside my skin like bubble wrap. One even appeared in my right eye and I stared out at teh world through a red haze for over a week. One of the thrombosed veins hurt badly and I remember looking at it and thinking, "What if this had happened in my brain instead of my legs?" The next day, I threw out the progesterone. The vein thrombosis and bruising cleared up and the skin on my legs went back to normal after a couple of weeks, but I vowed to never take progesterone again.
So, since then, my moods have been so up and down they threatened to give me mental whiplash. One day at work, I was in a meeting where we received some news about a possible outsource of graphic design to a company in India and as I tried to take up for our department by telling the publisher that outsourcing wasn't a good fit for our publication, I broke out in tears. While my coworkers stared at me in horror, I cried even harder and couldn't stop. I knew I looked like I'd lost it completely, so after a minute or two, I got up and walked out of the room without a word to anyone. Of course, news of the 'crying incident' spread like wildfire through the office and as I passed groups of people in the hallways, they'd go quiet and stare at me as though I'd just confessed to being the Unabomber or something. That's when I knew there was something seriously wrong with me. I scratched enough money to go back to the OB/GYN one more time.
The doctor (female this time) told me that I was perimenopausal and handed me a bunch of literature on it. She gave me more high-dose iron to take and refreshed my prescription of blood pressure medicine and highly advised me to come back the following week to get another ultrasound. Unfortunately, that never happened because my insurance plan changed at the beginning of the year and now it's the pay-up-front kind with a 20% deductible. A regular followup at a doctor's office will cost me anywhere from a $100 to $300 or more, especially if they run more tests like an ultrasound. I can't afford this, so I'm just keeping on with the iron and going to the ER every time I run out of blood pressure medicine. I have to keep this up until open enrollment in November where I can opt for the higher-priced 'premium' insurance plan offered by Aetna, or drop it altogether and try to get health insurance somewhere else outside the company.
By the way, Aetna seriously sucks!!!! For the last 2 years Aetna has taken over $8,000 from me in premium payments and the plan I got for it, I can't even afford to use. Now I hear on the news that Aetna isn't going to cover anaesthesia for procedures like Upper and Lower G.I. exams. What a crock of shit! Maybe we ought to get all of Aetna's shareholders and force them to get a colonoscopy WITHOUT anaesthesia and see how the hell THEY like it! Bastards. I hope they rot. As soon as November gets here, I'm opting out of my health coverage and registering myself a business license under my old graphics freelance name and I'm going to get Blue Cross/Blue Shield, like I had when I was at my old job. I don't care if I have to pay more for the coverage - at least BCBS will cover things like anaesthesia!
Yes, I repeat: AETNA SUCKS.
Anyway, my hemoglobin levels are still a little low (10.5 at the last red count I got), but at least I'm no longer in danger of needing a blood transfusion (something I fought tooth and nail to avoid). Other than the wild mood swings and the unpredictable menstrual cycle, I do feel better.
It occurred to me that people with Asperger's Syndrome have one big problem aside from the usual ones with social interaction and such, and that is they expect their bodies to keep functioning whether they pay attention to warning signs (like anemia) or not. I ignored my body's warning signs and kept ignoring them until it became critical. Had I not fainted that day at work, it would have happened somewhere else, like when I was driving my car. It could have killed me. I always expected my body just to keep going until the day it finally just shut down, but I never expected this. I neglected myself and this is what I got for it.
I've always thought of my body as a 'ship' - not a pretty one, and maybe not the most stable one, but a ship nonetheless. It's weathered many a storm that I've piloted it through - until now. Until I was hit by Hurricane Perimenopause. The only thing I can do is keep spooning iron in while my blood keeps leaking slowly out. Right now, I'm keeping keeping myself afloat, but there are some days when I feel like giving up and letting myself sink. But in the meantime, I write.
Writing has seen me through some awfully hard times and this is no exception. Despite my health problems, it helped take my mind off of it all by turning back to my stories. I've finished one more novel and started another in the past 6 months. Writing helps me forget 'me' for a little while and live in another world. I don't know what I'd do if I could no longer type or scribble down my stories.
Well, that's where I am. I'm trying to get one of my novels going and see where it leads me. I've also decided to put up another website that I can reference in my online travels and hopefully promote my book. I'm not going through agents or publishers right now, but I will again in the future. No, this time I'm going with a POD service, just to get it out there. It might be a mistake or it might not, but hey, I've got to try. I'm tired of sitting here and just letting bad things happen to me. I'm going to make something good happen to me for a change.
Until later,
Jillian
Monday, January 22, 2007
For the Love of Writing Novels
New year, and hopefully, a new attitude.
The same old doubts creep in from time to time and there are times when I wonder why I even bother. Still, my resolution for '07 is to publish something. It might not be a novel, but maybe I can push a short story through somewhere. I was bombarded all November by Writer's Digest to submit another Short-short for their annual contest (which, regrettably, I let slip past without a submission). I plan to do another one this year, though, and maybe set my sights on finishing that short piece for Glimmertrain. Glimmertrain's rejected me ten times. Might as well make it eleven.
I've finally gotten 'Golden Hour' back in the mail, last week. They're not able to market it right now, or so the letter said. One of the reasons cited in the rather detailed letter was that the MS was still too long and that unfortunately the book doesn't quite fit into the genre that I'd indicated in my query letter. There was more, but since this is a public blog, I'll withhold the rest for personal reasons. I showed the letter to an editor friend at the paper on Wednesday and she deciphered the meaning for me. This was basically what she told me:
"They're saying that they can't find a slot for it because it's a hybrid genre and they're a hard sell. It's still too long and needs a lot more editing, " she said, and went on to tell me that if I were to get some more of my short stories published and fatten my writer's resume a little more, that would help. "Publication on web sites doesn't count with these folks," she said. "For them, it's paid-for hard copy that matters."
Essentially, the publishers won't take a chance on me because I'm still not a proven writer.
Well, hell, I knew that.
So I guess I'm going to be pounding out a bunch of short stories in the meantime and submitting those. My editor pal said to try and get them into some small pub's that won't pay much but can be considered a publishing credit. Amass enough of those, and I'll gain more credit as a writer. Right now I just don't have enough 'experience' to bring to the table.
Makes sense, even though I don't like it.
This subject came up recently on Writer's Beat, in one of the threads where writers can ask for help on writing and the 'dance' thereof. Since 'Golden Hour's' untimely return to me, this subject has really hit home, so I probably ranted on about it a little more than I should have. So, I decided to write more about that subject here today.
It scares writers when they hear this stuff - about just how hard it is to get published - and it can dissuade them from even trying. But still, they need to hear the truth from someone who is going through it. The odds on actually getting a novel sold aren't good.
There are seven million writers out there doing the same exact thing I'm doing. At least half of them are far more experienced than I am and even THEY are getting rejections right and left. Another thing, too; even if you manage to publish a novel, chances are 70% or greater than you'll make next to nothing on your first sale. $6,000 is about the average advance on a first novel from a previously unpublished author. The rest depends on percentage of overall sales (3%-8% for you) and your agent's cut taken out of that (usually around 30%).
Why is this?
Because 90% of most novels just don't do well. Most of them never become bestsellers. If you're going to make any money, it will come from a 3rd or 4th book, and that's only if your first two do well enough that the publisher gets a modest return on them.
In retrospect, maybe I bit off more than I could reasonably chew by trying to sell a novel before selling short stories first. My problem is that I still can't write a decent short story to save my hide. In a novel, you have room to stretch out and let the plot build slowly, plus time to build your characters and so on. A short story has a limited amount of space and it focuses on one incident or a 'slice of life' that must make a point and make it fast. I'm beginning to believe that the reason I can't write a good short is because I can't think in terms of microcosm. Encapsulation of a plot in such a short space may not be possible given the way my mind works. Today it occurred to me that maybe writing and submitting a bunch of short stories isn't the way to go, at least for me.
Writer's Digest has a contest for self-published books every year (they bombard me with invitations for that, too) and I think I might just clean up 'Golden Hour' and self-publish it, or maybe finish up 'The River' and do that one through Xlibris. It will cost me about a grand, but I have the money, so I might as well give it a go. At least I can accomplish one goal: give Mom a book that I've written - one that's in actual print, not in email or website form. I can submit as many self-published books to WD as I want. A winner of this particular contest gets to meet with actual publishers and marketers who will take a look at it and see if it can be mass-produced via paperback. There's a cash prize, too, but that's only part of the whole enchilada. The meeting with the publishers face-to-face is what I want. This may be the way to get my foot in the door, even if it's the back door.
I'm not getting any younger and 40 is looming nigh. I wanted to be published by the time I reached forty and it still might be possible, just in a way I hadn't given any serious consideration to before. I hate it, though. To me, PODs are small-time, a vanity-oriented way of publishing. But I can't keep avoiding it altogether. It might be time to reconsider.
That's it for now. Not only is it time for an attitude adjustment, it's time for a goal-adjustment as well.
Until later,
Jill
New year, and hopefully, a new attitude.
The same old doubts creep in from time to time and there are times when I wonder why I even bother. Still, my resolution for '07 is to publish something. It might not be a novel, but maybe I can push a short story through somewhere. I was bombarded all November by Writer's Digest to submit another Short-short for their annual contest (which, regrettably, I let slip past without a submission). I plan to do another one this year, though, and maybe set my sights on finishing that short piece for Glimmertrain. Glimmertrain's rejected me ten times. Might as well make it eleven.
I've finally gotten 'Golden Hour' back in the mail, last week. They're not able to market it right now, or so the letter said. One of the reasons cited in the rather detailed letter was that the MS was still too long and that unfortunately the book doesn't quite fit into the genre that I'd indicated in my query letter. There was more, but since this is a public blog, I'll withhold the rest for personal reasons. I showed the letter to an editor friend at the paper on Wednesday and she deciphered the meaning for me. This was basically what she told me:
"They're saying that they can't find a slot for it because it's a hybrid genre and they're a hard sell. It's still too long and needs a lot more editing, " she said, and went on to tell me that if I were to get some more of my short stories published and fatten my writer's resume a little more, that would help. "Publication on web sites doesn't count with these folks," she said. "For them, it's paid-for hard copy that matters."
Essentially, the publishers won't take a chance on me because I'm still not a proven writer.
Well, hell, I knew that.
So I guess I'm going to be pounding out a bunch of short stories in the meantime and submitting those. My editor pal said to try and get them into some small pub's that won't pay much but can be considered a publishing credit. Amass enough of those, and I'll gain more credit as a writer. Right now I just don't have enough 'experience' to bring to the table.
Makes sense, even though I don't like it.
This subject came up recently on Writer's Beat, in one of the threads where writers can ask for help on writing and the 'dance' thereof. Since 'Golden Hour's' untimely return to me, this subject has really hit home, so I probably ranted on about it a little more than I should have. So, I decided to write more about that subject here today.
It scares writers when they hear this stuff - about just how hard it is to get published - and it can dissuade them from even trying. But still, they need to hear the truth from someone who is going through it. The odds on actually getting a novel sold aren't good.
There are seven million writers out there doing the same exact thing I'm doing. At least half of them are far more experienced than I am and even THEY are getting rejections right and left. Another thing, too; even if you manage to publish a novel, chances are 70% or greater than you'll make next to nothing on your first sale. $6,000 is about the average advance on a first novel from a previously unpublished author. The rest depends on percentage of overall sales (3%-8% for you) and your agent's cut taken out of that (usually around 30%).
Why is this?
Because 90% of most novels just don't do well. Most of them never become bestsellers. If you're going to make any money, it will come from a 3rd or 4th book, and that's only if your first two do well enough that the publisher gets a modest return on them.
In retrospect, maybe I bit off more than I could reasonably chew by trying to sell a novel before selling short stories first. My problem is that I still can't write a decent short story to save my hide. In a novel, you have room to stretch out and let the plot build slowly, plus time to build your characters and so on. A short story has a limited amount of space and it focuses on one incident or a 'slice of life' that must make a point and make it fast. I'm beginning to believe that the reason I can't write a good short is because I can't think in terms of microcosm. Encapsulation of a plot in such a short space may not be possible given the way my mind works. Today it occurred to me that maybe writing and submitting a bunch of short stories isn't the way to go, at least for me.
Writer's Digest has a contest for self-published books every year (they bombard me with invitations for that, too) and I think I might just clean up 'Golden Hour' and self-publish it, or maybe finish up 'The River' and do that one through Xlibris. It will cost me about a grand, but I have the money, so I might as well give it a go. At least I can accomplish one goal: give Mom a book that I've written - one that's in actual print, not in email or website form. I can submit as many self-published books to WD as I want. A winner of this particular contest gets to meet with actual publishers and marketers who will take a look at it and see if it can be mass-produced via paperback. There's a cash prize, too, but that's only part of the whole enchilada. The meeting with the publishers face-to-face is what I want. This may be the way to get my foot in the door, even if it's the back door.
I'm not getting any younger and 40 is looming nigh. I wanted to be published by the time I reached forty and it still might be possible, just in a way I hadn't given any serious consideration to before. I hate it, though. To me, PODs are small-time, a vanity-oriented way of publishing. But I can't keep avoiding it altogether. It might be time to reconsider.
That's it for now. Not only is it time for an attitude adjustment, it's time for a goal-adjustment as well.
Until later,
Jill
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Still typing my life away...
Another year gone by and still a no-sale on my last two novels. I can't figure it out. On one hand, I'm told they're 'terrific' and 'gripping,' yet the publishers are still hesitant. I know it's because I haven't published a novel previously, but jeez, a writer's got to start somewhere. "Golden Hour" isn't totally out of the picture yet, but after all these months, I'm losing hope on that one, too.
How the hell do I sell my 'First Novel?' The more time goes by, the more Xlibris and Lulu.com are looking like viable options.
One major problem might be that in the last five to ten years, the Internet and POD publishers have seriously hurt the publishing industry on many levels. Your typical brick-and-mortar publishing house is afraid to take on a new author because of the monetary risk involved. Why? Because marketing studies have shown that most average people are not reading books as much as they used to. They're surfing the net instead. This is probably true - I know I spend more time browsing online than I do reading a novel (or writing one, for that matter). Most publishing houses maintain a 'stable' of well-known, proven and prolific mid-list writers that they rely on to bring in steady revenue. It's very hard for them to go all out and bankroll a new book from an unknown author. It stinks, but that's the way it is. Unless something miraculous happens (like we have a massive solar flare that takes out the Internet), this particular goal is going to remain tough on me. I quit submitting to publishers directly over two years ago and went the 'agent' route. That doesn't seem to be working, either. Oh, they liked what they read in my MSS, but for some reason they can't place it with a publisher. Publishers are looking for the next Stephen King or J.K. Rowling, but how will they know if they've got one unless they take a chance on a new writer? Rowling was a strange case, anyway. Her first book was rejected over fifty times before Scholastic finally took it on - and it paid off for them in spades. (I bet the other forty-nine publishers feel pretty stupid right now over that one). All I need is a damn foot in the door. Heck, just let me get a toe in there.
Anyhow, in other news, my daughter is coming home from college to visit us for the holidays and guess what she's bringing with her? The Boyfriend. He sounds like an okay kid, don't get me wrong. It's just going to be weird, that's all. You have to remember that this is my daughter, the one whom I changed diapers for and taught her how to ride a bike. (Then I taught her how to drive a car, but that disaster is another story for another time). It's just hard for me to picture her all grown up, that's all. I have the utmost respect for her for continuing her education and making something of herself. My greatest hope for her is that she will one day be everything I wasn't able to be - a successful, competent adult.
One thing that's been bothering me, other than breaking the bank for Christmas, is the fact that Mom's health is steadily sliding downhill. She's been like a rock, always there for me, and now I get the feeling that soon she won't be. That's hard to face. Dad's dying back in '92 was hard enough. I stayed shit-faced for 3 months solid because I simply couldn't deal with the grief head-on. Even though Mom and I have had our 'moments' in the past where we didn't get along so well, her passing will devastate me.
The reason I'm pushing so hard to publish a novel is for her sake. To prove to her that I could actually do it. She has always been my worst critic, and would tell me point-blank to my face if my writing was crap. She's never pulled any punches with me over the years. If what I wrote or created actully sucked, she told me so. I don't know why it's so important to me to impress her, but it is. Maybe it's because she has an I.Q. of 140-something and I don't. Maybe because I was such a screw-up and a total loser all of my life and she wasn't. She was more impressed when my cousin Rachel got her Master's in Journalism and went to work at the Wall Street Journal. Me, I ended up at a mid-grade daily paper making a decent salary, and again it just wasn't 'good enough.' Do you have any idea how much I'd LOVE to waive a $900,000 book advance in everyone's faces? It would be like, "See, I wasn't such a total shit-head after all." It's like saying, "See, I can do this too."
So, maybe my reasons for wanting to publish a novel aren't so noble. Essentially, I want to do this to prove not only to Mom and the rest of the world that I can write, but to myself as well. In a memorable scene from the movie 'City Slickers,' Jack Palance's character is shown holding up an index finger, basically telling Billy Crystal's character that to find true happiness you need to find that 'one' thing you do well - and enjoy doing it. I've tried all sorts of things - graphics and photography, etc. Writing is what I keep coming back to. It's my 'one' thing.
What makes a writer a writer? They write. That's all. Even if I never get published, I'll still keep at it. God knows I've carpet-bombed every writer's forum I can find with my stories and input, so sooner or later my own brand of viral marketing might pay off.
Until later,
Jillian
Another year gone by and still a no-sale on my last two novels. I can't figure it out. On one hand, I'm told they're 'terrific' and 'gripping,' yet the publishers are still hesitant. I know it's because I haven't published a novel previously, but jeez, a writer's got to start somewhere. "Golden Hour" isn't totally out of the picture yet, but after all these months, I'm losing hope on that one, too.
How the hell do I sell my 'First Novel?' The more time goes by, the more Xlibris and Lulu.com are looking like viable options.
One major problem might be that in the last five to ten years, the Internet and POD publishers have seriously hurt the publishing industry on many levels. Your typical brick-and-mortar publishing house is afraid to take on a new author because of the monetary risk involved. Why? Because marketing studies have shown that most average people are not reading books as much as they used to. They're surfing the net instead. This is probably true - I know I spend more time browsing online than I do reading a novel (or writing one, for that matter). Most publishing houses maintain a 'stable' of well-known, proven and prolific mid-list writers that they rely on to bring in steady revenue. It's very hard for them to go all out and bankroll a new book from an unknown author. It stinks, but that's the way it is. Unless something miraculous happens (like we have a massive solar flare that takes out the Internet), this particular goal is going to remain tough on me. I quit submitting to publishers directly over two years ago and went the 'agent' route. That doesn't seem to be working, either. Oh, they liked what they read in my MSS, but for some reason they can't place it with a publisher. Publishers are looking for the next Stephen King or J.K. Rowling, but how will they know if they've got one unless they take a chance on a new writer? Rowling was a strange case, anyway. Her first book was rejected over fifty times before Scholastic finally took it on - and it paid off for them in spades. (I bet the other forty-nine publishers feel pretty stupid right now over that one). All I need is a damn foot in the door. Heck, just let me get a toe in there.
Anyhow, in other news, my daughter is coming home from college to visit us for the holidays and guess what she's bringing with her? The Boyfriend. He sounds like an okay kid, don't get me wrong. It's just going to be weird, that's all. You have to remember that this is my daughter, the one whom I changed diapers for and taught her how to ride a bike. (Then I taught her how to drive a car, but that disaster is another story for another time). It's just hard for me to picture her all grown up, that's all. I have the utmost respect for her for continuing her education and making something of herself. My greatest hope for her is that she will one day be everything I wasn't able to be - a successful, competent adult.
One thing that's been bothering me, other than breaking the bank for Christmas, is the fact that Mom's health is steadily sliding downhill. She's been like a rock, always there for me, and now I get the feeling that soon she won't be. That's hard to face. Dad's dying back in '92 was hard enough. I stayed shit-faced for 3 months solid because I simply couldn't deal with the grief head-on. Even though Mom and I have had our 'moments' in the past where we didn't get along so well, her passing will devastate me.
The reason I'm pushing so hard to publish a novel is for her sake. To prove to her that I could actually do it. She has always been my worst critic, and would tell me point-blank to my face if my writing was crap. She's never pulled any punches with me over the years. If what I wrote or created actully sucked, she told me so. I don't know why it's so important to me to impress her, but it is. Maybe it's because she has an I.Q. of 140-something and I don't. Maybe because I was such a screw-up and a total loser all of my life and she wasn't. She was more impressed when my cousin Rachel got her Master's in Journalism and went to work at the Wall Street Journal. Me, I ended up at a mid-grade daily paper making a decent salary, and again it just wasn't 'good enough.' Do you have any idea how much I'd LOVE to waive a $900,000 book advance in everyone's faces? It would be like, "See, I wasn't such a total shit-head after all." It's like saying, "See, I can do this too."
So, maybe my reasons for wanting to publish a novel aren't so noble. Essentially, I want to do this to prove not only to Mom and the rest of the world that I can write, but to myself as well. In a memorable scene from the movie 'City Slickers,' Jack Palance's character is shown holding up an index finger, basically telling Billy Crystal's character that to find true happiness you need to find that 'one' thing you do well - and enjoy doing it. I've tried all sorts of things - graphics and photography, etc. Writing is what I keep coming back to. It's my 'one' thing.
What makes a writer a writer? They write. That's all. Even if I never get published, I'll still keep at it. God knows I've carpet-bombed every writer's forum I can find with my stories and input, so sooner or later my own brand of viral marketing might pay off.
Until later,
Jillian