The Pinocchio Syndrome:
Breathing life into "wooden" characters

As a writer, have you ever been told your characters are two-dimensional or "wooden?" Some might call this problem the Pinocchio Syndrome – having wooden, puppet-like characters no reader can identify with. Whether a story is plot-driven or character-driven, ideally your characters should engage the reader, gain empathy and at the same time move the plot forward. In learning to further develop a character’s personality, ironically, one of the best examples is found in Carlo Collodi's tale of Pinocchio.

In this famous (and rather dark) children’s story, the marionette Pinocchio begins his life as a pine log. A log is probably the most basic of characters and yet Collodi gives Pinocchio a personality even before the character is truly "born." First, the reader is introduced to a magical log that sings and talks, and when the log is passed on to Geppetto, it takes on a more human-like form when it’s carved into a doll. As Geppetto works, the log cries out in pain, immediately eliciting empathy from readers. In his new form, Pinocchio begins to evolve, gaining all the attributes of a human boy.

To make a character more lifelike, even if it’s just a log like Pinocchio started out, you must give them a personality. Personality traits, as used in fiction, are any aspect of a character described in terms of how they think, act and in their general demeanor. For example, you can say your character is a scullery maid, but that isn’t necessarily a personality trait. Being a scullery maid is what the character "does" and though a person’s job can say a lot about them, this is a character detail, not a personality trait. You can have two scullery maids with completely different personalities.

The same thing applies with physical traits. You can say a character is a blonde girl in a pink mini-dress, but aside from the usual cliched stereotypes, what does this description really tell a reader about a character? Hair color and clothing is not quite enough to define personality. You have to go a little further than that.

A personality trait could be any of the following that describes a person: Shy, fastidious, youth-obsessed, gregarious, rude, stupid, intelligent, cowardly and just about any adjective you can think of. These traits, when combined with other physical traits, unique mannerisms and voice, et ceters all come together to create a mental image of your character. The trick is in how to show these traits to readers without overwhelming them with details. Some writers use a lengthy list called a Character Sketch to ask themselves questions about a given character. All you really need to know is the basics of the character’s personality to start with and then you build upon the sketch as events happen within your story.

Once you’ve sketched out a list of personality traits for your character, the next step is to give him or her a physical description, employment, habits and so on. Then you give them a "past," a present and a possible future (backstory). Again, try to avoid stereotypes. A blonde girl wearing a pink mini-dress is more fascinating to the reader if she’s extremely intelligent but has an inner fear of looking like a nerd. Keep your list handy as you write, because you will need to refer to it often as your story or novel chapters develop. Much as Collodi did with Pinocchio, get your character up and moving, then add bits and pieces of who they are and what they might become as you write the story itself. Disburse this information in small doses – only where it’s needed. There's a saying: "Actions speak louder than words." This is especially true when it comes to building characters.

Introduce your characters much as you’d introduce yourself to another person in real life. When you first meet someone, you automatically begin forming an opinion of this new person through a series of impressions you’ve gathered as you speak to them, observe their mannerisms and their behavior. Let the same thing happen for your characters. These things should flow naturally and chronologically into the story, developing along with the plot itself.As an example, let’s start with a basic wooden character named "Joe Smith." In an introductory paragraph, we'll leave out his surname. Contrary to popular belief among new writers, surnames do not need to be given out right away unless they’re needed to explain something in the story. In all reality, what information does a surname provide about a character? Nothing much. except for their heritage – and it’s a vague reference at that. Here’s a basic sentence about "Joe:"

'Joe was an overweight gas station attendant who fell in love with a girl he knew he could never have.'

This sentence tells you that Joe is:
1. Overweight
2. He works at a gas station
3. He falls in love with an unattainable girl.

First impressions mean everything when introducing your characters. Just because you might be able to see your character in your mind’s eye, this doesn’t mean the reader can. So, you will need to add a few more details and expand upon the sentence above. A practiced writer does this by inference within the running narrative of the story, using internal dialogue and the character’s actions. What this means is that you can obliquely refer to a character's personality trait or physical traits using whatever’s available in a given scene. To show that a character is overweight, it’s easy enough to state that they’re chubby, but it’s better to show the character as they’re constantly adjusting tight clothing or having problems walking. So Joe is overweight and has a crush on a girl. Big deal. There are a million other guys out there just like him. What sets Joe apart from every other overweight male person in the world?

This is when you need to give your characters a voice, much as Collodi did with the pine log that became Pinocchio. A character’s voice is not just in how they speak within written dialogue, but also their inner thought process described in the narrative itself. Get creative. Add other facets to your character that affect their personality. Maybe they have an allergy, a phobia of birds or an ongoing illness. Show his/her mannerisms, tics, their way of speaking and their dress, and not just their dress but how their clothes fit and more. When it comes to extended details like clothing, it’s best to only describe an item or two, but make certain it says something about the character. Be creative with physical appearance, as well. In your description, be sure to "show" the character, don’t just "tell" the reader a fact or two about them. If your character is a brunette, for instance, don’t just say, "Clarice had long brown hair. Dirk thought it looked pretty in the sunlight." Instead, show Clarice’s hair in a way that’s unique to her, evokes emotion and moves the plot forward:

‘Clarice turned away and stared out at the ocean. Dirk noticed how her mouse-colored hair, when caressed by the sun, turned to a lustrous caramel.’

Much more information can be implied by being creative with a few choice adjectives and verbs. Let’s try to put a little more flesh on our puppet, Joe, with more elaboration added to the original sentence from earlier:

‘Joe worked at the Gas ‘n Go. His coworkers were always teasing him about his weight and he hated it. When he arrived at work one morning, unbeknownst to Joe, his zipper split open as he strained to get out of his car. On his way to clock in, his boss, Sam, caught a glimpse of Joe’s private parts and commented that Joe’s "car was exiting the garage." Because his belly was so big, Joe couldn't see his zipper, but nevertheless he was instantly embarrassed. This unfortunate event happened right in front of the pretty girl who worked behind the snack counter. Joe blushed and covered his open zipper with his hands. He then hurried to the restroom to fix it.’

In the above paragraph there is now a lot more information about Joe. It still doesn't quite convey enough about him as a person, but a reader can get a vague idea who Joe is and what he looks like. However, they still don’t really get a picture of Joe in mind. As you can probably tell in the above paragraph, there still isn’t quite enough about Joe to gain reader empathy.

There are two primary reasons for this lack of empathy for poor Joe. The first reason is that the details, though seemingly plentiful, are not introduced to the reader correctly. They are "told," not "shown." The second reason is that no firm point of view (POV) has been established. The paragraph above is loosely omniscient in POV. Omniscient POV has been used effectively by authors for many, many years, but readers these days tend to identify more with a firm Third Person or First Person point of view. Readers like to get to know a character and this means delving further into that characters’ thought process.

To make it easier for the reader to mentally connect with a character, ask the following questions when considering how to present them:
1. How does your character think and speak (internally and externally)?
2. What is the character’s usual demeanor? (Grumpy, sad, happy-go-lucky, etc.)
3. What do the other characters think of your main character? How do they generally react to him/her?
4. What does he/she look like? How does they see themselves?
5. What does he/she "do" in life and better yet, Why? (Jobs, hobbies, etc.)

Answering these questions will help you visualize your character as a person, especially when it comes to illustrating their good points and their flaws. Flaws are very important to making a character seem more human.

One of the reasons why Carlo Collodi’s marionette is a good example of a multifaceted character is due to Pinocchio’s flaws. Like people in real life, all characters must have flaws of some kind. Like real people, they will make mistakes and then pay for them, creating even more obstacles they must overcome. Everyone knows Pinocchio's most dominant flaw: his wooden nose grows longer every time he tells a lie. This a physical flaw the character is aware of. There are also other more prominent traits Pinocchio has that he is not aware of or is in denial about. These are shown through the character’s actions and in dialogue. Pinocchio’s personality is shown as impudent, foolish and prone to bad temper – all traits that make him every bit an ornery and all-too-human boy. Pinocchio, in making foolish decisions and having negative things happen to him, manages to learn about his flaws and overcome them along with other obstacles as the story progresses.

Bear in mind, you can’t address all of your character’s traits in one introductory paragraph, but you can hint at them here and there by using the character’s voice and thought process. Below is a further enhanced and expanded version of the basic paragraph above, using our puppet Joe, now shown with an inner voice and perceptions added along with several character traits and flaws thrown in. In this set of introductory paragraphs, you should now get a much better view of Joe:

‘Joe stood outside the Gas ‘n Go, wolfing down the last bits of three chili dogs he’d picked up on the way to work. He hesitated in front of the window. The new cashier, a wisp of a woman named Loretta, stood behind the counter. She was talking with Sam, the shop boss. Sam favored Loretta with his overly white smile and reached out to playfully chuck her under the chin. She recoiled and took a quick step backward, causing a strand of pale hair to come loose from beneath her cap. Joe finger-combed what few strands of hair remained on his balding pate and pushed in through the double doors. There was a small chance he could tiptoe by and get to the time-clock before the other two caught sight of him.

When he was about halfway across the store, his boss turned and stopped Joe with an upraised hand. "Hold on there, Porky. You’re late again." Sam then burst into laughter and pointed at Joe’s pants "Well lookee here! Your Volkswagen’s rolledout of the garage."

Joe peered downward and saw nothing but belly. However, there was definitely a breeze blowing in where it shouldn’t be. His zipper was wide open. He groaned inwardly. Yes, he’d been in a hurry to get to work, but how could he have forgotten to put on his briefs? Then it occurred to him that if Sam could see Joe’s privates, Loretta could, too. Every drop of blood in Joe’s body rushed up into his face. To her credit, Loretta looked away, as if she developed a sudden interest in the cigarette display behind her. Joe clapped both of his hands over the front of his pants, stifled a sob and hurried off to the men’s restroom. He wasn't about to let Loretta see him cry. She'd seen more than enough already.’

After reading about Joe the gas station attendant, above, you should now be able to picture what Joe looks like, how he thinks, what he does, how he might react in a given situation and more. In addition to his most prominent trait (his weight issues) you now know Joe is:

1. Balding
2. Chronically late and forgetful
3. So used to criticism that he doesn’t react to being called "Porky"
4. Bashful/shy, maybe even a little creepy
5. Attracted to the new cashier, Loretta.

Well-rounded characters have plenty of good and bad things about them. The key is to touch on these aspects as the story progresses. When you begin describing a character’s back-story (their personal history, as it affects the story as a whole), write it in relation to the plot itself.

For example, if Joe was humiliated in kindergarten because he was caught eating other kids’ lunches, this would be a useful fact about his character. However, you would have to insert this fact into the story at the right time, as it naturally fits into the plot. An example would be writing a scene where Joe goes to pick his nephew up from school and overhears other kids making snotty remarks about his nephew’s weight. This could trigger a flashback memory of the same thing happening to Joe himself many years before. Remember, when revealing details about a character, let them flow in as part of the story. Putting in details that add nothing of value to the plot is just "fluff" and only serves to bog down the reader.

The best way to introduce your characters to the reader by placing them in uncomfortable situations that immediately reveal their most prominent personality traits. Above, Joe is made very uncomfortable and as a reader you can judge him by how he handles the situation. Whether the initial impression is good or bad doesn't matter, it's the potential for fundamental change that interests a reader. Joe may be a cowardly, unattractive and creepy man, but if he’s shown to have emotions and goals, he has the potential to become something better.

Even secondary characters have wants, needs and goals, just make sure they tie in with the main plot and do not steal the stage from your main characters. If you're introducing secondary or even tertiary characters into a story, they should make an impression on the reader, but with fewer details. The less important the character, the less back-story they should need. Remember that every character, no matter how minor, must have a specific part to play in moving the plot forward. Introducing characters for setting value (part of the scenery) may be confusing if you tell us about their marital lives and what kind of latte they usually buy from the local coffee house. When it comes to secondary and tertiary characters, a good rule to remember is this:
if you're not going to use them, lose them.

Lastly, try to keep your characters balanced. If your protagonist is a genuinely good person, let him or her have a few bad qualities, too. If your antagonist is really bad, throw in a few good qualities for balance. A character that is overly good or bad will come off as unrealistic. Even if there is no fundamental change for the character in your story, the potential for it must remain in play. When a character has opportunities for change, this appeals to readers because it reinforces the unconscious hope all people have that their lives can transform, too. Adding just the right amount of detail to humanize your characters will make your story memorable – like Collodi’s Pinocchio, the ultimate "wooden" character.

- Until later, whenever that will be,

Jill

Back in the Saddle Again... well, sort of.

After months and months of being out of touch with everything from my relatives and friends to the internet, I'm back. After several months of one health problem after another, here I am again, much to everyone's dismay.

First off, let me say that Perimenopause is a bitch. I've been riding the hormone roller-coaster for over a year now and it's been literal hell. After turning 40, it seemed like my body took some kind of hidden cue and began acting up.

Last August, I noticed that I wasn't feeling so well. It was hot outside - ranging close to the hundred degree mark with 90% humidity, and on several occasions I almost fainted - once while driving. I put my general feeling of ill health down to the heat. Big mistake, that was.

On August 18th I was sitting in front of my computer at work, just minding my own business and typing away, when all of a sudden a bolt of pain knifed through my lower abdomen. I doubled over and clutched my stomach, instantly wondering if I'd eaten something bad that morning. But the pain was low in my stomach and deep, so I then figured it was something of a gynecological nature. I got up and went outside to get some fresh air, hoping to walk off the pain, but instead, it intensified. I went back inside the building and rushed to the bathroom because the pain became so pointed that I felt nauseous and I wanted to be near the commode in case I ended up driving the porcelain bus. (Throwing up).

In the bathroom, I felt a wave of nausea and dizziness that was so strong the room began to spin and that's when I became terrified that something inside me had ruptured and I was now bleeding internally. I staggered back into my cubicle and dropped into my desk chair, thinking that if I passed out, at least it would be where people would find me. My vision narrowed down to a tunnel and everyone's voices around me seemed far away and became somewhat fuzzy-sounding. That's when I knew I was going down for the count. Next thing I know, the room is bright and clear again, and someone was pressing a cold, wet rag to my forehead.

"You fainted," one of my coworkers told me. "How do you feel now?"

I just looked at her and shook my head. Even though I was alert and no longer feeling faint, I still felt weak and shaky. Sweat poured down my face and down my back. Apparently I was experiencing some form of shock, which can come with a sudden drop in blood pressure (sometimes associated with internal bleeding). As much as I hated to do it, I told them to call 911, which they did. When the EMTs showed up, they told me my blood pressure had dropped precipitously and that I was probably severely dehydrated - which I didn't understand because I'd been drinking juice and coffee all morning. I suspected that something inside me had ruptured and I was bleeding internally, and by the time I got out of the hospital, it turned out that I was "sort of" correct.

What they found was that one of my ovaries had ruptured due to a lemon-sized cyst that had been growing there. Apparently the sharp pain I'd felt that morning came around the time the cyst had popped, taking my ovary with it. The bad news was that there was another one on the other side that hadn't popped yet, and it was already the size of a golf ball.

When you hear the word 'cyst,' you start thinking it has something to do with cancer, and that was my immediate thought upon hearing the news. Unfortunately, because I have a mild form of autism and have A.D.D., everything they tried to explain to me went in one ear and right out the other. I struggled to understand what they said and none of it made sense. It seemed to be a gynecological problem, not a general practitioner kind of issue, so I went to an OB/GYN first. That doctor was the one who told me I also had gallstones (something that they never told me at the hospital). Still, he seemed to give me the bum's rush and told me to take some progesterone pills and sent me packing. I didn't have cancer, but something was wrong, and no one seemed to be able to tell me what it was. In the meantime, my menstrual cycle went haywire.

After several doctor's visits, I was told that in fact I'd had significant blood loss, but the ovary had already begun to heal. My left side was sore for weeks. The blood loss wasn't primarily due to the burst cyst, though, as I soon found out. My hemoglobin levels were around 5.5, when they 'should' be around 12 to 13. I didn't 'feel' anemic, though, except that one day. A charge nurse at the OB/GYN surmised that I probably had been anemic for so long that I simply didn't notice how low it had gotten. My menstrual cycle wasn't helping, either. I was on it every two weeks after the cyst burst, and when it happened, it lasted for almost two weeks and had a heaviness I'd never seen before. I was prescribed high-dose iron to combat the low red count, but was told it would take several months to build my hemoglobin levels back up, since iron is not easily digested in the system.

While I was taking the iron, my blood pressure (which had seemed 'normal' prior to taking the iron) shot up to stratospheric levels [170 over 102 was one reading that scared me and the doctor at the same time]. The doctor said the systolic reading was high, but what concerned him was the '102' number I mentioned just now. It meant that my heart was working really, really hard to push and pull blood out and that could be an indicator of an impending heart attack or stroke. The progesterone I was taking didn't help, either. Even though it leveled out my moods, huge bruises and thrombosed veins began appearing on my legs. Blood vessels were popping inside my skin like bubble wrap. One even appeared in my right eye and I stared out at teh world through a red haze for over a week. One of the thrombosed veins hurt badly and I remember looking at it and thinking, "What if this had happened in my brain instead of my legs?" The next day, I threw out the progesterone. The vein thrombosis and bruising cleared up and the skin on my legs went back to normal after a couple of weeks, but I vowed to never take progesterone again.

So, since then, my moods have been so up and down they threatened to give me mental whiplash. One day at work, I was in a meeting where we received some news about a possible outsource of graphic design to a company in India and as I tried to take up for our department by telling the publisher that outsourcing wasn't a good fit for our publication, I broke out in tears. While my coworkers stared at me in horror, I cried even harder and couldn't stop. I knew I looked like I'd lost it completely, so after a minute or two, I got up and walked out of the room without a word to anyone. Of course, news of the 'crying incident' spread like wildfire through the office and as I passed groups of people in the hallways, they'd go quiet and stare at me as though I'd just confessed to being the Unabomber or something. That's when I knew there was something seriously wrong with me. I scratched enough money to go back to the OB/GYN one more time.

The doctor (female this time) told me that I was perimenopausal and handed me a bunch of literature on it. She gave me more high-dose iron to take and refreshed my prescription of blood pressure medicine and highly advised me to come back the following week to get another ultrasound. Unfortunately, that never happened because my insurance plan changed at the beginning of the year and now it's the pay-up-front kind with a 20% deductible. A regular followup at a doctor's office will cost me anywhere from a $100 to $300 or more, especially if they run more tests like an ultrasound. I can't afford this, so I'm just keeping on with the iron and going to the ER every time I run out of blood pressure medicine. I have to keep this up until open enrollment in November where I can opt for the higher-priced 'premium' insurance plan offered by Aetna, or drop it altogether and try to get health insurance somewhere else outside the company.

By the way, Aetna seriously sucks!!!! For the last 2 years Aetna has taken over $8,000 from me in premium payments and the plan I got for it, I can't even afford to use. Now I hear on the news that Aetna isn't going to cover anaesthesia for procedures like Upper and Lower G.I. exams. What a crock of shit! Maybe we ought to get all of Aetna's shareholders and force them to get a colonoscopy WITHOUT anaesthesia and see how the hell THEY like it! Bastards. I hope they rot. As soon as November gets here, I'm opting out of my health coverage and registering myself a business license under my old graphics freelance name and I'm going to get Blue Cross/Blue Shield, like I had when I was at my old job. I don't care if I have to pay more for the coverage - at least BCBS will cover things like anaesthesia!

Yes, I repeat: AETNA SUCKS.

Anyway, my hemoglobin levels are still a little low (10.5 at the last red count I got), but at least I'm no longer in danger of needing a blood transfusion (something I fought tooth and nail to avoid). Other than the wild mood swings and the unpredictable menstrual cycle, I do feel better.

It occurred to me that people with Asperger's Syndrome have one big problem aside from the usual ones with social interaction and such, and that is they expect their bodies to keep functioning whether they pay attention to warning signs (like anemia) or not. I ignored my body's warning signs and kept ignoring them until it became critical. Had I not fainted that day at work, it would have happened somewhere else, like when I was driving my car. It could have killed me. I always expected my body just to keep going until the day it finally just shut down, but I never expected this. I neglected myself and this is what I got for it.

I've always thought of my body as a 'ship' - not a pretty one, and maybe not the most stable one, but a ship nonetheless. It's weathered many a storm that I've piloted it through - until now. Until I was hit by Hurricane Perimenopause. The only thing I can do is keep spooning iron in while my blood keeps leaking slowly out. Right now, I'm keeping keeping myself afloat, but there are some days when I feel like giving up and letting myself sink. But in the meantime, I write.

Writing has seen me through some awfully hard times and this is no exception. Despite my health problems, it helped take my mind off of it all by turning back to my stories. I've finished one more novel and started another in the past 6 months. Writing helps me forget 'me' for a little while and live in another world. I don't know what I'd do if I could no longer type or scribble down my stories.

Well, that's where I am. I'm trying to get one of my novels going and see where it leads me. I've also decided to put up another website that I can reference in my online travels and hopefully promote my book. I'm not going through agents or publishers right now, but I will again in the future. No, this time I'm going with a POD service, just to get it out there. It might be a mistake or it might not, but hey, I've got to try. I'm tired of sitting here and just letting bad things happen to me. I'm going to make something good happen to me for a change.

Until later,

Jillian

For the Love of Writing Novels

New year, and hopefully, a new attitude.

The same old doubts creep in from time to time and there are times when I wonder why I even bother. Still, my resolution for '07 is to publish something. It might not be a novel, but maybe I can push a short story through somewhere. I was bombarded all November by Writer's Digest to submit another Short-short for their annual contest (which, regrettably, I let slip past without a submission). I plan to do another one this year, though, and maybe set my sights on finishing that short piece for Glimmertrain. Glimmertrain's rejected me ten times. Might as well make it eleven.

I've finally gotten 'Golden Hour' back in the mail, last week. They're not able to market it right now, or so the letter said. One of the reasons cited in the rather detailed letter was that the MS was still too long and that unfortunately the book doesn't quite fit into the genre that I'd indicated in my query letter. There was more, but since this is a public blog, I'll withhold the rest for personal reasons. I showed the letter to an editor friend at the paper on Wednesday and she deciphered the meaning for me. This was basically what she told me:

"They're saying that they can't find a slot for it because it's a hybrid genre and they're a hard sell. It's still too long and needs a lot more editing, " she said, and went on to tell me that if I were to get some more of my short stories published and fatten my writer's resume a little more, that would help. "Publication on web sites doesn't count with these folks," she said. "For them, it's paid-for hard copy that matters."

Essentially, the publishers won't take a chance on me because I'm still not a proven writer.

Well, hell, I knew that.

So I guess I'm going to be pounding out a bunch of short stories in the meantime and submitting those. My editor pal said to try and get them into some small pub's that won't pay much but can be considered a publishing credit. Amass enough of those, and I'll gain more credit as a writer. Right now I just don't have enough 'experience' to bring to the table.

Makes sense, even though I don't like it.

This subject came up recently on Writer's Beat, in one of the threads where writers can ask for help on writing and the 'dance' thereof. Since 'Golden Hour's' untimely return to me, this subject has really hit home, so I probably ranted on about it a little more than I should have. So, I decided to write more about that subject here today.

It scares writers when they hear this stuff - about just how hard it is to get published - and it can dissuade them from even trying. But still, they need to hear the truth from someone who is going through it. The odds on actually getting a novel sold aren't good.

There are seven million writers out there doing the same exact thing I'm doing. At least half of them are far more experienced than I am and even THEY are getting rejections right and left. Another thing, too; even if you manage to publish a novel, chances are 70% or greater than you'll make next to nothing on your first sale. $6,000 is about the average advance on a first novel from a previously unpublished author. The rest depends on percentage of overall sales (3%-8% for you) and your agent's cut taken out of that (usually around 30%).

Why is this?

Because 90% of most novels just don't do well. Most of them never become bestsellers. If you're going to make any money, it will come from a 3rd or 4th book, and that's only if your first two do well enough that the publisher gets a modest return on them.

In retrospect, maybe I bit off more than I could reasonably chew by trying to sell a novel before selling short stories first. My problem is that I still can't write a decent short story to save my hide. In a novel, you have room to stretch out and let the plot build slowly, plus time to build your characters and so on. A short story has a limited amount of space and it focuses on one incident or a 'slice of life' that must make a point and make it fast. I'm beginning to believe that the reason I can't write a good short is because I can't think in terms of microcosm. Encapsulation of a plot in such a short space may not be possible given the way my mind works. Today it occurred to me that maybe writing and submitting a bunch of short stories isn't the way to go, at least for me.

Writer's Digest has a contest for self-published books every year (they bombard me with invitations for that, too) and I think I might just clean up 'Golden Hour' and self-publish it, or maybe finish up 'The River' and do that one through Xlibris. It will cost me about a grand, but I have the money, so I might as well give it a go. At least I can accomplish one goal: give Mom a book that I've written - one that's in actual print, not in email or website form. I can submit as many self-published books to WD as I want. A winner of this particular contest gets to meet with actual publishers and marketers who will take a look at it and see if it can be mass-produced via paperback. There's a cash prize, too, but that's only part of the whole enchilada. The meeting with the publishers face-to-face is what I want. This may be the way to get my foot in the door, even if it's the back door.

I'm not getting any younger and 40 is looming nigh. I wanted to be published by the time I reached forty and it still might be possible, just in a way I hadn't given any serious consideration to before. I hate it, though. To me, PODs are small-time, a vanity-oriented way of publishing. But I can't keep avoiding it altogether. It might be time to reconsider.

That's it for now. Not only is it time for an attitude adjustment, it's time for a goal-adjustment as well.

Until later,

Jill

Still typing my life away...

Another year gone by and still a no-sale on my last two novels. I can't figure it out. On one hand, I'm told they're 'terrific' and 'gripping,' yet the publishers are still hesitant. I know it's because I haven't published a novel previously, but jeez, a writer's got to start somewhere. "Golden Hour" isn't totally out of the picture yet, but after all these months, I'm losing hope on that one, too.

How the hell do I sell my 'First Novel?' The more time goes by, the more Xlibris and Lulu.com are looking like viable options.

One major problem might be that in the last five to ten years, the Internet and POD publishers have seriously hurt the publishing industry on many levels. Your typical brick-and-mortar publishing house is afraid to take on a new author because of the monetary risk involved. Why? Because marketing studies have shown that most average people are not reading books as much as they used to. They're surfing the net instead. This is probably true - I know I spend more time browsing online than I do reading a novel (or writing one, for that matter). Most publishing houses maintain a 'stable' of well-known, proven and prolific mid-list writers that they rely on to bring in steady revenue. It's very hard for them to go all out and bankroll a new book from an unknown author. It stinks, but that's the way it is. Unless something miraculous happens (like we have a massive solar flare that takes out the Internet), this particular goal is going to remain tough on me. I quit submitting to publishers directly over two years ago and went the 'agent' route. That doesn't seem to be working, either. Oh, they liked what they read in my MSS, but for some reason they can't place it with a publisher. Publishers are looking for the next Stephen King or J.K. Rowling, but how will they know if they've got one unless they take a chance on a new writer? Rowling was a strange case, anyway. Her first book was rejected over fifty times before Scholastic finally took it on - and it paid off for them in spades. (I bet the other forty-nine publishers feel pretty stupid right now over that one). All I need is a damn foot in the door. Heck, just let me get a toe in there.

Anyhow, in other news, my daughter is coming home from college to visit us for the holidays and guess what she's bringing with her? The Boyfriend. He sounds like an okay kid, don't get me wrong. It's just going to be weird, that's all. You have to remember that this is my daughter, the one whom I changed diapers for and taught her how to ride a bike. (Then I taught her how to drive a car, but that disaster is another story for another time). It's just hard for me to picture her all grown up, that's all. I have the utmost respect for her for continuing her education and making something of herself. My greatest hope for her is that she will one day be everything I wasn't able to be - a successful, competent adult.

One thing that's been bothering me, other than breaking the bank for Christmas, is the fact that Mom's health is steadily sliding downhill. She's been like a rock, always there for me, and now I get the feeling that soon she won't be. That's hard to face. Dad's dying back in '92 was hard enough. I stayed shit-faced for 3 months solid because I simply couldn't deal with the grief head-on. Even though Mom and I have had our 'moments' in the past where we didn't get along so well, her passing will devastate me.

The reason I'm pushing so hard to publish a novel is for her sake. To prove to her that I could actually do it. She has always been my worst critic, and would tell me point-blank to my face if my writing was crap. She's never pulled any punches with me over the years. If what I wrote or created actully sucked, she told me so. I don't know why it's so important to me to impress her, but it is. Maybe it's because she has an I.Q. of 140-something and I don't. Maybe because I was such a screw-up and a total loser all of my life and she wasn't. She was more impressed when my cousin Rachel got her Master's in Journalism and went to work at the Wall Street Journal. Me, I ended up at a mid-grade daily paper making a decent salary, and again it just wasn't 'good enough.' Do you have any idea how much I'd LOVE to waive a $900,000 book advance in everyone's faces? It would be like, "See, I wasn't such a total shit-head after all." It's like saying, "See, I can do this too."

So, maybe my reasons for wanting to publish a novel aren't so noble. Essentially, I want to do this to prove not only to Mom and the rest of the world that I can write, but to myself as well. In a memorable scene from the movie 'City Slickers,' Jack Palance's character is shown holding up an index finger, basically telling Billy Crystal's character that to find true happiness you need to find that 'one' thing you do well - and enjoy doing it. I've tried all sorts of things - graphics and photography, etc. Writing is what I keep coming back to. It's my 'one' thing.

What makes a writer a writer? They write. That's all. Even if I never get published, I'll still keep at it. God knows I've carpet-bombed every writer's forum I can find with my stories and input, so sooner or later my own brand of viral marketing might pay off.

Until later,

Jillian

Yeah, yeah, I know. I have't written anything here since January.

Hey, I've been busy. I made a lateral move to a larger newspaper where I have hope of a promotion sometime before I am old enough to retire, plus I have a 'pension program' (yes, they DO exist, unlike the Unicorn and the wood sprite). At least I'm doing something productive in regard to my writing, My MS 'Golden Hour' is being looked over by a literary agency (yes, a real one, not one of those fly-by-nights I got sucked into before), and there's some editing to do (they want me to cut it from 98,000 words to around 85K, plus fix some plot holes. Then they'll try to market it for me. It would be cool if it sold...

Anyway, the reason I'm writing today is to make note of my latest foray into NaNoWriMo again this year. I'm going to finish this time, I swear. I'm not going to attempt to use an outline like I did last time. No, this time it will be completely free-written. It won't be publishable anyway (because it's online), but maybe something interesting will come out of it. I'm still working on my other novel, 'Salem's Crossing,' about an aging paranormal investigator who solves mysteries sort of like Angela Lansbury in 'Murder She Wrote.' I know that the TV shows 'Medium' and 'Ghost Whisperer' are out there, plus there's already another novelist writing stories involving a ghost-hunting team, but mine's different. It's more dark, symbolic and edgy than one might expect. Since there's a market for that sort of thing right now, might as well strike while the iron's hot (there's my love of cliches again).

Anyway, NaNo '06 is ready to start in a few days, and my fingers are poised over the keyboard, itching to begin. If I last more than 20 days, I'll be shocked and amazed. But why not, eh? It's something to do. Until later - Jillian

Creativity Finally Flowing Again...

Long time, no write. And not just here, either. I had to do some relocating, both mentally and physically, but now things seem to be rolling.

In the past few months I've chucked three UFO's (UnFinished Opus) into the virtual garbage can and started four new ones. Of the four, I like two of them. I was going to send an MS to Lulu.com just for shits and giggles, but then I didn't see the point of submitting an MS that took me eight months' worth of blood, sweat and tears to produce and get nothing back for it money-wise.

Never, ever write 'just for free.' If you're going to waste your time, take up ping-pong.

In the meantime, I've managed to get what I've always wanted - a secluded home in the country with nothing but tall pines for company. I have my own office now, more or less, and for the longest time I STILL couldn't finish anything I'd started. I literally couldn't write squat. Well, that's changing, finally. I've got a couple of great ideas that I'm actually putting down on paper (or should I say, screen). This has all happened because I moved yet again, this time for thousands of miles. Funny how a change of scenery can spur a sluggish mind into thinking again.

Anyway, I do believe I'll finish at least one novel by March and get it submitted (to an agent this time - no more direct publisher contact). The second one that shows promise will probably be completed sometime this summer, if all goes well. Hopefully one of them will be published - for real! I respect Lulu.com and other avenues like it, but they're just not for me. The real money is with the big publishers. I like to write, but then again, I'm not doing this for personal enrichment (or whatever the hell they're calling it these days). I'm doing this for money, and not just small money either. Big time bucks. Stephen King-type bucks. J.K. Rowling - type bucks. All my other sources of income have ceased or been misdirected, so it's now time to sink or swim.

This need not make sense to anyone but me.

I sent off a couple of book reviews to a local rag in the hope that they'll publish them. My only published item in 2005 was a letter to an editor I wrote to a local paper, complaining about the lack of jobs in this area. It was creative whining, but whining just the same. I'm surprise they ran it.

As for publication; it's not like I really need the money - I own land and a home and I do have resources, but still... I've worked ever since I was 13 and being home all day long while staring at my computer is not a life by any means. Well, on the bright side, I have plenty of time to get something written.

That's it for now. This message is mainly for those curious as to where I've been and why I've been incommunicado for several months on end.

I'm still alive, still writing and I'm still getting by.

Until later,

Jillian